Omg the chantings from today's trip to the temple is still stuck in my head XD And it sounds pretty loud lol

Ahhh idk mannnn. What the hell is going on?!

Y'know, I have underestimated the effect of my grandma's passing on my mum. She seemed to have resumed back to her normal life the past two weeks. Okay she did bring up some things she remembered about my grandma, but she didn't sound too sad so I assumed she was just reminiscing the past. But today when I just saw a post on my mum's fb, I realise that my grandma had played too great a role in my mum's life that even small things like cooking a meal for my family can make her miss my grandma (because the pots were given to my mum from my grandma). I have always repected my mum for her love for my grandma, even though my grandma, being in the older and more conservative generation, likes my uncle more. (Idk where this post is going...) I may have mentioned this before, that my mum is one of my few soft spots haha. I cannot stand seeing her crying or being upset. So yea it's really upsetting to know that she hasn't entirely gotten over my grandma's death. I guess she just needs more time.. I can't imagine if something like that happens to me. Not to mention that I've only spent 19 years with my mum, whereas my mum has spent 50 years with my grandma..

Alicia Keys - If I Ain't Got You Lyrics

Forever an introvert at heart

I will always prefer smaller group interactions haha.

Had the first official Cheway meeting with the entire team today, which has a full strength of 34 people. It was like whoa, too many people hahaha. But it's good cuz I got to know a few more of the non-exco members and I remembered a few more names ^^ It sucks to be bad with names haha cuz it'll make me seem like I can't be bothered with them... Anyway yea I interacted with a few of them over the bridge session haha but they were all from programmes..? It's okay let's take it a step at a time~

Oh yeah I was as I was saying, I really prefer smaller groups like the 8 people during the bridge session. There are just too many things going on at once for big groups. Plus it gets tiring trying to interact in big groups haha and it's convenient for you to just shrink back into your own corner cuz there are so many others talking. But I hope today's session has made the exco seem less exclusive hahaha (though I secretly would rather just spend time with the exco alone oops).

Anyway, it's time for me to spend some time away from school and cheway stuff (other than booking the air tickets for the recce trip)! I'm going to be working for next week at my mum's office, only for a week, but it's in school again LOL. Cuz I don't have to travel ma so might as well right haha!

I wanna find some time to go to the beach! Cheway is intending to go ecp during end December but I only like going to the beach in small groups, like max 4 or 5 people :( I just wanna chillax and enjoy the sea breeze and the sound of the sea waves. I could just sleep there listening to the waves hahaha. And it doesn't help that now I live so far away from ecp... The closest beach is sentosa but I have to pay the entrance fee sian.

The December holidays seem too short for me to do all that I intend to :(

-
Thanks kaining <3

Thank You

I am typing this in a separate post because this post is meant to be dedicated to my grandma. For those who are unaware, she passed away peacefully last Tuesday night. (I'll try to keep this light-hearted though!)

This is not the first time someone has passed away in my extended family, but it's the first time someone I really loved has passed away. The feelings you experience is really different. Previously when my uncle passed away 3 years ago, I could still hold back my tears, but this time round I couldn't. There was just too much memories, too much feelings. But it could probably be because this time round it was rather unexpected, unlike my uncle who had been suffering from cancer.

According to the doctors, my grandma had suffered from an acute heart attack. It happened when my uncle was bringing her to the clinic that evening because she said she felt unwell, then she simply fainted there and was rushed to the hospital. When my cousin left a message on the whatsapp chat saying that my grandma had fainted and was being admitted to the hospital, I feel very guilty saying this but, I honestly didn't make a big deal out of it because it was not the first time she was being hospitalised. Previously she had been hospitalised also because she had fallen down two times I think. I simply thought that something similar had happened and that it was nothing too serious. So when I saw my mum's worried face when she heard about what had happened, I realised that I should have been more concerned about it. After all, she was already 85 and anything that happens to her should not been overlooked.

What happened afterwards went by in a flash, for real. From reaching the hospital, the doctor declaring her death, to the wake and her funeral (which I unfortunately was unable to attend due to my exam on that day), everything happened way too fast. Just like that, a part of my life has been changed. I have been going to my grandma's house every Saturday evening for dinner since primary school, more frequently in secondary school and even more so in JC after my uncle who was living with her passed away. I've just started becoming closer to my grandma in recent years because I didn't know how to interact with her in the past. Now my Saturday evenings are free and there's no longer a cute old granny to tell me to 'eat more' and to mix up my sis' name with mine.

I'm glad I made the decision to visit her the last Saturday before she left us. I could have continued staying in school to study (it was the day after the math paper) but I decided to lompang my parents' car to her house. My parents even brought my dog there haha and my grandma threw a tennis ball to play with her. I think it's really cute how my grandma kept all the toys she could find around the house that she wanted to use to play with my dog. She used to dislike my previous dog but she surprisingly likes Ruby haha. That's why we decided to bring Ruby along since we couldn't leave her alone at home when we're over at my grandma's place for her wake. Something I regretted was not spending more time with her when I went to visit her on a Sunday a few weeks back when my parents were overseas. I only spent about an hour at her house before leaving for my haircut and going back school to study... She talked about how her father was biased to her brothers and how she couldn't complete her secondary school education because he was unwilling to pay for her school fees and many other things. I suppose old people just want someone to listen to them talk. Even though I could have made an effort to stay longer, I'm still glad I decided to make the trip down that day. Honestly, I had the mindset that I should visit her while I still could because I didn't want to leave any regret when she passes away. I'm serious. Idk why I started thinking that way, but I didn't expect it to be so soon.

Nonetheless, I think it's good that she left us this way, instead of having to suffer with an illness.

That's why leave no room for regrets everyone. Love the people you love. Make time for them, make them happy.

And no worries guys, I'm all fine :)

sum(nus_sem1)

I shall do a summary of my first sem in NUS chemical engineering before I become too lazy to do so.

Honestly speaking, uni life was not what I expected. It is so much more fast-paced than JC life because you're expected to learn so much content and master them all within a semester/15 weeks. Not to mention that everyone else is equally or even more capable than you are. For my first sem, I kinda regretted taking up Sociology hahaha. I mean sure, it was interesting when you listen to the lecturers talk about how they analyse something sociologically and it gives you new perspective, but, as with most other Humanities subject, studying for this subject was a damned burden! Then again, I guess I gained some knowledge in the sense that I can throw out names of some Sociologists like Weber, Durkheim, Marx... (but really, these are the 3 big sociologists that we have to know at the very least HAHA).

Matlab was another huge burden. Friends around me would have heard me complaining about this programming module over and over again. I'm sorry I just can't help but to let it all out >< I really think I'm super screwed for my exam, considering how apparently everyone is doing quite well according to our lab TA. Ugh whatever at the most I'll just retake this module next sem... CN was okay, not exactly very interesting but still fine. The exam paper was horrible though. I only knew how to do 3/6 questions in the paper and I'm not even confident that my final answer is correct :o But somehow it seems like most people found the paper hard too so I'm not alone haha! It's all up to the bell curve now... I really cannot afford to offend the bell curve god cuz I didn't do well for my mid-terms sigh. Nothing much to say about math and GEK (another burden ._.)

Apart from studies, uni life is still not what I had expected. Because I have met a group of friends that I really like and feel comfortable around to just be myself. Really thankful for knowing the Cheway exco, who included me in their study groups despite my lack of contribution :( Yea I basically spent the last 3 weeks studying with them, plus Haolin (Lynn, please don't...), in school everyday that I'm so sick of the food at Techno! Without their company, I really think I'll just die from the stress and boredom from studying. And not to mention the resources that they generously share amongst each other. Who says the world is cold-hearted? The world is filled with kind people. I really hope I'll be able to stick through these 4 years with this gang.

And idk if he'll even see this, but I'm really thankful for Jason for including me in many of his groups, like Cheway and the outstanding engineers lol. If not because of his friendliness (which I even felt that he was too friendly for my liking on the first day I met him hahaha) I probably would not be as outgoing as I am right now. You have no idea how surprised I was when that day Sherman and Zhikang mentioned in the whatsapp chat that they thought I am an extrovert. LOL right. I was like HUH are they being serious?! Then I thought about it and yeah I probably wouldn't have spoken this way back in JC. I figured it was because having someone around that I was comfortable with made me open up myself easier. I guess I'm achieving my goal of being less conservative and just having fun (but I still think I'm far from being an extrovert la)! I held back too much in the past, mainly because I was afraid of offending/hurting people if I made spoke carelessly to them. My close friends would know that I'm kinda GL hahaha but I behave like that to people I know who won't get offended and can just joke around. That was probably because I tried to hard to please everyone, I didn't like it if someone disliked me. But now I don't really care lol unless we're talking about someone I like (as a friend/person). Life is much easier this way~

Oh and another thing, it must be the bad influence from the polluted cheway exco because stirring has kind of become a habit -.- I'm sorry guys please give me some time to get rid of this bad habit haha. And I realised I have been saying 'I don't know' way too often lol it just makes me appear thoughtless so I should refrain from that too. Speaking of which, I really should start thinking about what I want in life...

Is there someone you know
And loving them so
But taking them all for granted?
You may lose them one day
Someone takes them away
And they don't hear
The words you long to say

When life throws me into such a sucky situation once again, I will accept the challenge just as I did the previous time, but this time round i'll be better and stronger.

I must have been leading my life correctly so far. Why else would I have been so lucky to have met all these wonderful people in chem eng? Thank you so much guys I'm eternally grateful but at the same time I feel super bad to not be able to contribute back... I'll return y'all the favor someday, I promise!

Umbrella - Younha

On a rainy night like this, it's the best time to play this song~ :)

Naruto x700

One part of my childhood has ended with the last chapter of Naruto T-T

I was never a die-hard fan of the series, but I really like the funny elements in the earlier parts of the story so I followed it through these years. From watching the anime to reading the manga simply because it's faster to read the manga. The anime was gooooood. Other than being funny, there were many touching moments also e.g. when Asura (I think) died and Jiraiya too. Oh and the OST of course, it was a large part of the anime. When I moved over to reading the anime, it was one chapter every Wednesday/Thursday and just like that, almost 10 years has passed since I first got to know about Naruto. To be honest I kinda lost the story in between because there were way too many new characters, but I kept reading to know the ending.

The last chapter was a glimpse into the future, with all the main characters grown up with kids. It was kinda interesting because some of the couples seemed to have been put together rather forcibly hahaha. Like there hadn't been much interaction between this two characters in the story, but they ended up getting married with children LOL. Everyone's like wth in the forums I went to hahaha.

So yeah, Naruto has officially ended (okay there's an upcoming movie...). 15 years of work by Kishimoto-sensei. *applause* This brings a closure to a significant part of my childhood. It feels kinda weird right now, really. I was looking forward to the manga ending because I was really quite lost with the story, but now that it has ended, I suddenly feel sad and empty.

Next will be Bleach haha. I think I will feel even more sad when it ends because I like it more than Naruto. Most people would say Naruto is better (which I agree because Bleach is draggy and has way too many fillers especially in the anime), I feel more attached to Bleach? Maybe because I used to spam the opening and ending songs haha. I'm looking forward to the end of the series, but I know I'll feel even more sad than now when that happens :(

Brittle bones, strong heart

Caught another episode of 快乐速递 again today haha. Today was about a 2 year old girl who is suffering from this disease called Osteogenesis Imperfecta a.k.a brittle bone disease. Even when she was still inside her mother's womb, she already had broken arms and broken legs. Her bones are so brittle to the point that she could even fracture it when she coughs.

So the show actually invited another guy who is also suffering from the same disease. You may expect that it may be difficult for people like them to find jobs, but guess what, this guy is actually working in one of the Big Four. If I'm studying accountancy, I don't even know if I would dare think of working in the Big Four. Idk man, just comparing their circumstances with my own privileged life, I felt super ashamed. Is my life actually all that tough? People have it much worse, I'm absolutely in no position to whine.

Anyway just something random. I have always felt that it is kinda rude to cry over someone's, say, death or situation if the person himself or his direct family is not even crying. It's like you're not even in the position to cry if those closest to the person are not. I mean, who doesn't feel sad? By just wailing you're not gonna help at all and it just makes the family feel even worse. I know, this can be debatable, but this is just my personal take.

Urban Zakapa - I Hate You

Kindness is unlimited

I was watching Channel 8's 快乐速递 with my parents just now. They featured this 79 year old man who has been going around helping the elderly (even though he may even be older than some of them) with their personal problems and organising events for them. It's already respectable enough that he devotes his time to help people instead of enjoying his retiree life. Okay he did say that he enjoys helping people, but I'm just comparing him to most other people who probably would spend their time doing activities that are less tiring.

I didn't expect it when the show mentioned that he himself is facing financial difficulties. He has no source of income after retiring, he lives apart from his wife (probably some disputes) and relies on the public assistance scheme (I think) for money. I'm not too sure how much he gets from this scheme but according to my parents it's around $450/month. Other than this amount of money, he basically is broke. Can you imagine? Besides food, transportation and rental, he mentioned in particular that he dreads it when an elderly passes away because it means that he would have to fork out approximately $30 per funeral for the 白金. So if in a month he has to attend 3-4 funerals, that means $100 off his budget. Okay it may sound like he just doesn't want to give the money, but ultimately he needs to meet his own needs right.

Despite his financial situation, he still goes around helping people and spreading happiness. If this doesn't deserve respect then I don't know what else does.

Pornsak mentioned something along the lines of how this shows that as long as you have the devotion, anyone can help another person irregardless of your circumstances.

Fantasy - Nell(넬)

Hmmm..

Nell - Run FMV (Two Weeks OST) [ENGSUB + Romanization + Hangul]

I fall and break everydayI hold onto my scar which didn’t even have time to healAs I run through the darkness endlessly

"When you love someone, you never really stop loving that someone."

Saw this at a link someone shared on fb. It's exactly what I believe in.

I think I may have mentioned this somewhere before, but yeah it's either you love someone, or you have never loved that person. I don't believe that you can just stop loving someone so easily. That's why I always try to refrain from using this word.

Anyway, I happened to read something else on the net the other day (also something that someone shared on fb). It was about chivalry. *warning, possible feministic views oncoming* It mentioned how the current day definition of chivalry had differed from its historical definition of chivalry, which was "the combination of qualities expected of an ideal knight, esp courage, honour, justice, and areadiness to help the weak" (from The Free Dictionary). So why then is this term only being used on men when they show politeness to women? What about when a woman shows politeness or kindness to a man? If we don't use chivalry to describe such acts of kindness, then is there any other suitable word? Does it thus mean that there's no need to acknowledge women's acts of kindness to men?

It's something I've been bothered by for quite some time, but the article just sorted out my thoughts more clearly. For example, when guys hold the doors for girls, people think it's gentlemanly of the guy and appreciate their actions, but most people (okay mostly guys) may find it weird to have a girl hold the door for them. I mean come on, the door isn't exactly that heavy. And when you offer to help a guy carry things. Idk, I really don't see how such actions are 'gentlemanly' and 'not characteristic of a woman' when they are just acts of kindness or politeness. You may have once thought 'Oh that guy was being quite a gentleman,' but what if it was a woman instead? I mean just think about what would your reaction be like when you come across something like that. Your reaction may vary subtly, but there always is this difference.

Why do women have to always be on the receiving end? We're not selfish monsters who are incapable of giving. Sometimes I feel that the idea of being a gentleman are just meant to boost men's already inflated ego (okay this is really just a huge claim I'm making haha).

Hope what I said above makes sense haha cuz that's what I really feel about today's society. Or I could just be a feminist in the making :p

BOO-YA!

This is a one week late post about Halloween Horror Night last Sunday with Lynn, Kayla, Tiong Suan, Chin Kai and Zhi Wei. Honestly, I never thought that I would go for such a thing lol considering how I don't even like horror shows. But since it's the first outing with this group of people, anything goes~

It seemed like I got scared the most haha some of them didn't even think the haunted houses were that scary but no I screamed like some girly girl for all haunted houses LOL. I don't usually scream high-pitched, unless I make myself scream like during roller-coaster rides because it's more fun, but nahhh haunted houses are a separate thing hahaha. I'm terrible with horror stuff. Still, it was a fun experience la haha I'm probably less cowardly now. I think. Haha hey you need experience for these kind of things right?!

That day was the latest I have ever reached home. I got back at 1.30am oops. At least it was a public holiday the next day. 

-

The last time.

윤하 (Younha) - 내 마음이 뭐가 돼 (Wasted) MV

I still can't believe two of my favourite artists have collaborated omg <3 The song so distinctly sounds like another Nell song, except with Younha as the vocal this time round. Still, I can just imagine Jong Wan singing it in his own unique style as always. Younha please keep going in this direction and make music of this genre~ But I also miss the days where she sang more rock songs :( I am still waiting for the day when I can actually attend her concert haha

Omg I just realised I typed something wrongly in my previous previous post. I meant to say that chemical engineering =/= chemistry. LOL I must have been half asleep.

Btw, it's already OCT. How have you guys been doing? I've not been meeting anyone for a meal or something ever since school started.. I miss my friends :(

Completed my mid-terms yesterday, with the math paper ending at 9.52pm lol that's the latest paper I have ever taken. It was only 1 hr with 10 mcqs but not enough time at all!!! It was a crazaaay paper. Programming paper was terrible, and by terrible I mean scoring 7/20. Initially I thought I only scored 1/20 lol because the last 5 questions (all mcqs)were linked, so I thought that if you didn't get all of them right, you don't get any marks. But I guess they were being nice by giving us the marks. It was 2m each okay! Otherwise I would have gotten 1/20. 5%. Omg. I'm seriously dying for programming. All the pre-defined functions, looping, vectors and what not. When I saw an entire page of weird words my brain really just turned off. I really had no idea what the codings were meant to do. I really need to start working harder for the remaining semester to at least pass this module and s/u it, or else I would have to retake it next semester T.T

But it's okay, I'm just gonna take this as a reminder for me to buck up. Whether you are at ulu ntu, central smu or smelly army (oops lol), jiayou guys~

I'm feeling the stress again. The inferiority complex is coming back..
I went for consultation with the OUTSTANDING chem engineers (lol that's the WA group chat name) today and they all seemed to be able to do the papers fairly easily and had questions to ask the prof. I really dk what I was doing there cuz I didn't have anything to ask. Or rather, I didn't know what to ask. That's the thing, if you really know what you're doing, you should have questions to ask otherwise you don't really understand. So I was just there trying to catch up with their discussion but failed to.
They all seemed like smart people who can solve the questions in half the time I took to solve it. I was never a smart student. I was at most a hardworking student, at worst a mugger. Since JH times, I was never in the 'smart classes'. Okay I know I shouldn't think this way, that's why I say it's an inferiority complex. It really sucks to feel like you're the only one feeling screwed.
Even for math, I'm struggling just attempting the previous mid-term papers. Like seriously, math is supposed to be the one that is comparatively more manageable. Sem 1 is supposed to be the most manageable sem out of the 4 years. So now what?!
It's come to the extent where I'm actually regretting choosing this course. I should have chosen Chemistry instead even though it may be less practical in a way.

Anyway, just in case some of you are wondering what even made me choose this course then, I'm actually interested in the production of consumer products like soap, cosmetics etc. And chemical engineering =/= engineering haha

I just went kampong style and starting doing work on the floor haha. But I still gave up cuz I decided my brain isn't functioning well at this hour and it is a little uncomfortable and hard XD fyi I like lying on the floor!

Anyway I can't believe I was blowing bubbles during my bath just now LOL. It was damn random like 'oh it's been a long time I blew bubbles' and I started blowing. Now I can blow much bigger bubbles and getting them to float in the air without bursting >)

Jiayou to those mugging for their mid-terms!

-

Thanks girl ;)

I went for muay thai today at another gym. It was because the instructor who I knew through the previous gym asked me to go there and try. He added me on fb and kept asking me to go to his gym. Honestly I didn't really like the idea, I would rather have stayed at the same gym but I didn't know how to reject him. So I decided to just go, otherwise he would keep messaging me, asking me to go. He said that usually the school would be closed on Sundays, but if I wanted he could train me for free. So being the cheapo that I was, I agreed.

I really felt very hesitant and doubtful. But I thought that he was probably just being nice so I decided to not think too much about it and just go. He even offered to meet me at the mrt station to bring me to the gym (that's why yik saw me). I felt awkward with him, especially when he held my hand to cross the road and didn't let go. So I pretended I needed to check my phone. I eventually figured that this was probably just their culture, but I'm still not used to these kinda things. I think he probably could sense that I was uncomfortable so he just held onto my finger(s) in the end LOL.

When we reached the gym, it turns out that we were the only people there, which made me hesitate again. But no, the fact that I can be here typing this out means that he was just a honest chap who was probably trying to poach me to go to his gym haha. After training he suggested going to Golden Mile Complex, which I declined at first because I still felt weird, but we walked there after all. He then bought me two bowls of dessert (that's why I said he wanted to poach me over lol) even though I told him that I needed to go back in 15 minutes.

So I feel quite bad for doubting him. IDK, I have always been rather cautious towards strangers, be it when I'm overseas or even in Sg. If only I were a guy I wouldn't have to think about so much. And while we were walking to get the food I asked him if he had any thai friends in Sg, and he said no, other than those he met from the gym. I shouldn't have asked him that damn. Okay I know, this post is rather incoherent but just wanted to get this off my chest.

Beautiful.... Especially the piano parts omg.
If you have never heard of the song before you would probably not know that this is a cover.

New driver here~

I was really lucky today for getting a nice tester and having (surprisingly) few cars on the road. With luck on my side, I am now a legal driver!!! ^^

It feels so surreal though. I spent the last few months (since mid-May) learning how to drive, going all the way to Ubi and back home for lessons and now I no longer have to go back there again. It could also be because I don't have a fixed instructor, meaning to say I was allocated a different instructor for most of the 26 lessons I attended, so there was no proper farewell to anybody except to the driving school I suppose. Haha I had my first (and most likely my last) meal there after my test.

Even the whole test felt so unreal, it was almost like a normal lesson. It was a good thing I guess, otherwise I may have screwed up because of the nerves. So yup thanks to my tester who was being friendly right from the start. But I did make some mistakes that I usually didn't make, like parking too much to the right and having to correct it (I really just luan lai one lol I didn't know which side to turn to XD).

Oh and there was a part where I had to lane change all the way from the left-most lane to the right-most lane (4 lanes in total) in order to make a U-turn. But I was lucky that there weren't any cars behind me HAHA. Even the tester said "Funny, where did all the cars go?" and I laughed and told him that they were all giving way to me :P Yep luck was on my side today. Still, I got penalised for changing lanes abruptly oops.

Anyway, I'm really dreading the rest of this week. Because of the test, I had to miss a few classes and have to attend make-up lessons for them tomorrow. I have Soci assignment and lab report due on Friday, CN tutorial by Thursday (omg I spent super long on one question and there's 5 more!!) and I have to help out with chess stuff these few days. What's worse is that apparently this week's lab report is tougher than usual, when I have been spending a lot of time on the past 3 reports >< Idk if it's because of today's test (maybe I was stressed subconsciously) or the sun that was shining on me during my bus rides, but I'm having a headache right now. I was contemplating whether or not to stay up and get started on my Soci assignment, but nah I shall go sleep the headache away. Doubt I'll be able to be productive and not feel irritated if I were to bear with the pain. At most I'll wake up earlier tomorrow.

Okay, who am I kidding. I'll still wake up at 7.30am the earliest ^^;

When someone's actions doesn't deserve any respect, you don't have to show him respect. It doesn't matter how much younger you are than him. The respect you show to a person should not be measured by his age or seniority. It's so ironic how people view him as their role model, claiming that he's so "humble" and what shit. I literally scoffed when I first read that. He's by-far the least humble person I know and he's superficial. You will never know how much he cares for his grandmother (i.e. almost inexistent) who took care of him when he was young. For someone like him to have so many worshippers, I must say that the world must be filled with crazy and ignorant people.

-

On a separate note, I feel like oversleeping for tomorrow's meeting hahaha. Shall leave it to my body to decide~

I swear uni life screws up your body clock :( It doesn't help that lessons no longer start at 8am everyday so there's nothing stopping you from sleeping till 10am (but I still wake up latest 8am everyday okay...) and so it's okay even if you sleep later at like 1am.

Now my body is accustomed to sleeping at 1am. Any time between 10pm to 1am I'm so awake that so as to not waste my energy I do my work. But before that around 6pm, when I'm just home from school, I always feel tired so I'll end up taking a short nap while waiting for dinner. Yeah, my body clock is screwed like that. For someone like me who prioritises sleep over many other things, you don't know how important sleeping well is lol. I need proper sleep. I'm the grumpiest when I don't get my sleep haha. There were a few nights I told my sister off for making so much noise when I was trying hard to sleep. It's really irritating when you're unable to sleep zz.

Anyway, just a short update on school life: Workload has been increasing exponentially with Soci and GEK assignments due next week, mid-term tests after recess week and not to mention the content we're learning has been getting tougher, which means to say more time spent on tutorials which were once thought to be simple. And next Monday will be my driving test, so I'm kinda spamming driving lessons  now. I got vice-director for ChESS marketing department, so there's a meeting tomorrow (or rather today) evening. On Saturday morning there will be some sort of an orientation with the entire ChESS committee, which means meeting new people and remembering new faces and names again.

Yup that's about it.

Goodnight~

I'm starting to get busy with school, now that it's we're learning more new stuff. It seems like the honeymoon period of revisiting jc content (especially for math) is almost over haha.

Btw, I have some mid-term tests after recess week, but the timings are so gl. 8.30-9.30 PM for a math test. Saturday 10am-12pm for CN test. SERIOUSLY.

Stay grateful

Let me just remind myself again that life has been rather good to me the past 19 years. There have been a few occasions whereby I do get what I wished for.

In primary school, my parents wanted me to enter the top two schools, but I didn't want to and secretly I wished to get into dhs. When the results came out and I applied for the schools based on my parent's wishes, but it turns out I had missed the cut-off point by just a few decimal points and I was allocated to dhs. That was not the end though, because my mum made me appeal for nygh and I went (at that time I was terrible at voicing out my opinions, even towards my family), but of course I didn't make it through. That's how I ended up in dhs, the school that I secretly wanted to enter. I still find it amazing really, it's like fate.

And of course, thanks to this, I was able to meet some of the most important people in my life, who I believe will continue to be of great significance to my life even in the far future.

Why I say life has been good to me is because while I eventually do get what I wished for, they do not come easily. I mean, it seems as though if one single thing had turned out differently, I would not have been able to get what I wanted. If I had a slightly higher aggregate score or if I had succeeded in the appeal, I wouldn't have spent the past 6 years in dhs, and not to say meet the people there. Another example would be A levels. What I wanted was simply to get into chem eng, which I am in now, and to me it didn't matter how many As I get. Turns out I scored well enough to get into the course I wanted, but not well enough to get into any other more prestigious courses or to get a scholarship. Of course, I'm not downplaying the effort I put in, it could be that I worked sufficiently hard to get what I wanted. So if I had aimed higher I probably would have worked even harder and got it as well. But either way, life has been fair to me. It has given me the minimum of my expectations at the least.

My family and friends are healthy, I'm born in a place that is free from disasters, I'm able-bodied with no major illnesses, born to a family that's relatively well to do with one of the kindest parents ever who will always protect and look over me, I have friends who genuinely care for me. What else do I want? Stop neglecting the things I already have and be grateful.

From the very bottom of my heart, thank you guys.

Okay it's all right. Figured I just have to keep reminding myself that only the people important to you matter, like family and close friends. What others think of you is trivial because they don't know me all that well to judge me.

All right let's goooooooo!

I'm really bad at socialising. I always do not know what to say when people talk, so I end up just listening and feeling out of place sometimes. Even when it's a one-to-one conversation, I usually find it hard to keep the conversation going, except on rare occasions. I tend to end up speechless, as in I have nothing to reply to the person. Is it because I'm a boring person? People must not like spending time with me because I'm boring. Of course, the people I'm referring to here are the acquaintances, not close friends. I take it for granted that close friends i.e. those who are reading this like, or at least can tolerate, spending time with me haha.

And is it really that weird to be walking around school alone? I'm perfectly fine with being alone, but apparently some people think I'm a loner. This guy from my og saw me walking alone in school and he asked on the whatsapp group chat why do I always seem to be alone lol. Uh, because I just came from home? Okay even if I did not come from home, is there anything wrong with being alone? Grow up man. Why do people at this age still think that way?

Anyway, I'm not exactly enjoying uni life because of the company I have. Idk, some people I feel are just using me as a spare tyre, when they have no one else to accompany them. Others are just a superficial relationship whereby we meet up to go for lectures for our pre-allocated mods. And referring back to the first paragraph, it's understandable why I can't seem to get closer to those from my (chess camp) og. They seem to be nice people, but there just isn't any common topic to talk about with them. Oh but I can somehow click with Lynn quite well! She's like the only friend that makes my uni life better.

I went to the Arts Carnival this evening with 4 of the guys from my og and before you start judging me, it's because I had no one else to go with and I really wanted to catch the live performances. So while we were walking from utown to ucc, I had nothing much to talk about with them and was walking alone mostly. It's fine, but that just occurred to me that there's something wrong with my socialising skills. Anyway I'm still grateful that they let me stick onto them, even though everyone left within 30 minutes after the event started lol. I was left with this one guy who seemed sincerely interested in the carnival because he wanted to see the performances by the CCAs. But as expected it was awkward with just two people so we decided to leave the place after watching 2 accapella performances. So I ended up not being able to catch any live bands :( I say I'm okay with being alone, but I guess not at a place where there are people you know who will most likely ask why are you alone and will judge you for it. Yeah, who cares if they judge. But when many people come up with a same judgement of you, you tend to question yourself if you really are what they make you out to be. And for someone like myself, I wouldn't be able to confidently reassure myself that easily.

I suppose the content of this blog is gonna get more private because it's like a place for ranting uni stuff that I have no one to tell to. But yeah, I guess rather than I keep complaining about these shit, I should just think more positively (but I'm a negative person in nature) and find some joy. JOY. Right.

Hah it's okay... What else can I say? At least I tried. Even though it may be a little hurting. But it's fine, you just have to be sure of who really matters to you and not be hurt by those who don't.

It's only been one week of school and I'm already sick of it. Sick of all the inter-personal stuff. And I'm an extremely introverted (not the exact word to use here but I can't think of the right word now) person. I always turn off my wifi/data cuz I cannot stand having my phone buzzing every 5 seconds? It just gets on my nerve. Especially not when I'm doing other things, unless I'm talking one-to-one to someone. That's why I'm usually not active in chat groups, unless I really am that bored.

I got to know many people through the camps and what not, but sometimes it gets a little overwhelming. Idk how to put it across. Like that day I just got to know this girl through my friend cuz both of us were going sociology alone, so we decided to go together. I mean, it's good to have company, but I'm perfectly fine being alone too. But I guess for this girl she's the kind that must have company with her. So she wanted us to go for tutorials together. Okay sure. So I suggested a few timings to her. And she said she perferred the one on monday instead of wed which I preferred. Then I asked her if she has any other available timeslots cuz if it was on Monday I would have to rush for my lab immediately after it. And she said quite hard cuz she's taking double degree (so her timetable is quite tight). At times like this, what would you do? I couldn't force her to change the timing since she already mentioned she's in ddp so by right I have to accommodate her timetable. If I were her I would have just suggested going separately, that would have saved BOTH of us so much trouble but no she didn't. And I couldn't bring myself to suggest it cuz that would mean pangseh-ing her. Okay fine maybe it's my fault also. I could have easily suggested it if she was my close friend but I only got to know her on the first day of school?! In a way, I felt kinda manipulated by her... Maybe it's just me la I could have just told her directly. I feel bad for saying this but I wished my friend hadn't introduced us. I hate these kind of burdening stuff, like having to consider other's feelings and also not neglecting your own interests. Idk if this whole paragraph made sense or if it's just me being anal.

Ah shit I'm just so frustrated with school, and it's not even about school work.

As for academic-related matters, lectures have been in general okay~ Ah except for the IT mod (programming). The lecturer couldn't seem to be able to explain clearly... CN (chem eng core mods) is fine so far, currently covering conversion of units, quite similar to what we did for A level physics except for a few new things like coverting to the American units (ft, inch etc.) Soci was kinda interesting, but I regret not taking down notes cuz I forgot most of what the lecturer said LOL I thought that day was merely an intro lecture :p Math was the most manageable one, since it was mainly just revision on differenciation and integration stuff. Oh but the math lecturer is a little weird. He randomly cracks 'sick' jokes hahaha. And he's a little fat so the image he gives me is of a 色pehpeh LOL

Why why why. It's been two consecutive days in which the same person appeared in my dreams. WHY omg. I don't see the face but I know who it is.

It must be because I haven't been sleeping well these days. Usually I'm quite a deep sleeper and fall asleep easily (like really, anywhere and anytime), but the past few days I have been taking some time to fall asleep after tossing and turning a few times and waking up for no reason in the middle of the night. It's not that I don't feel tired, but once I lie on my bed I feel more awake lol. Doesn't make sense right.

Anyway, tomorrow is the first day of uni life. All the best guys (I mean girls) and have fun :) As for the army guys, have fun too HAHA your time will come soon

The end of the longest break in my entire life

Of course, this is assuming I do not end up jobless in the future.

I mentioned some time back that I will do a summary of the past 8 months so this is what this post is going to be about. I still have the weekend before school starts, but since I will have to help my mum prepare stuff for the bbq tomorrow that was decided just last night, I shall just type this now when there's no one to disturb me.

Hmm, how do I go about this... Okay let's go by months.

December 2013: Europe trip
Idk what to say about this haha or do I already have a post on this? Okay anyway. This was my first time going to Europe and I would have enjoyed the trip much more if we had not gone with a tour group. Europe is meant for leisurely touring the place, not rushing about like mad cows and staying at a certain place for like what, 2-3 hours? I did not get to go to UK though, really want to have a feel of the place. I guess the most significant thing that happened during this trip was our encounter with pickpockets. Apart from the money, yeah it may seem like a trivial thing, but whenever I think back about it, I still feel the chills and anger to those people. And I'm not even the victim. Maybe it's because it concerned my mum.

January 2014: Taiwan trip
Went on a week-long trip to Taiwan with Lee Hwee, Alicia and Jasmine. I may have mentioned to some of you that I was actually contemplating whether or not to go with them, unlike most other people who would spontaneously agree and plan for their trip with their friends. Okay, the four of us were quite close in year 1/2, but I often felt that I could not really click with them. I mean, regarding the stuff that they talked about. Talking about idols, guys, teasing??? I cannot really remember much of what we talked about 5 years ago lol. But they really did care as a friend for me I suppose. Just that I could not really open up to them? IDK. I really dk.
So when I went to year 3, where we all went to different classes (except LH and Alicia), I slowly started to distance myself away from them. It was probably an issue of low self-esteem, because I backed out on a few of our meet ups last minute. It also did not help that I did not have anything in common with them like CCAs etc. For the first few months in year 3, I still went home with Jasmine on a daily basis, but idk since when we stopped going back together. Maybe when I made closer friends in 3G, friends who I felt I could click with better. Yea, I'm a jerk.
So the main point is, from year 3 onwards, I caused myself to be gradually pulled out of the group, while the 3 of them remained close or even closer. We did still talk when we met one another in school, but things just changed. But it got better in SH, when I gained a little more self-confidence. Like I said, it's all just an issue of self-esteem. Anyway, so yea the fact that I was on the borderline of being outside of the group made me think much about going on the trip.
Eventually what made me decide to go was that I wanted to salvage the friendship with them. I was the one who was stupid and distanced myself from them, when they did not even do anything wrong. Before that I always thought that whatever friends you make, you must be able to click with them and be very close with them. But some time between the 4 years from year 3 to 6, I came to understand that there are always different kinds of friends. It does not mean that if I do not have the same interests as them, they cannot be my friend. As of now, how I define someone to be a friend is someone who you are concerned about. Friendship isn't only about fun, common topics to talk about, gossiping about others. Even if friends complain about and criticise one another, disagree on issues, have little in common, but nonetheless they still care for each other, then I still consider that as friendship. I didn't understand this in the past.
Haha okay so this section turned out to be a summary of my relationship with the 3 of them.... The trip was great :)

January 2014: My very first job at Noel Gifts
Xm helped me to find this job while I was still procrastinating at home after coming back from the Taiwan trip haha but hey, she had commission from doing so okay :P Nonetheless, thanks man! :D It turned out I was lucky to have the nicest supervisor, John. Honestly speaking though, I think he picked me because he saw that I was from dhs (he did mention something about dhs people being smarter or something). I mean, people stereotype and are practical. They look for the easiest solution that can save them from trouble. Anyway, more about the job itself. Basically I helped to process orders by writing invoices and also did some telemarketing. I worked during the two weeks before CNY which is their peak period since most companies only purchase hampers then. So I had to call from a thick stack of papers containing the telephone numbers of companies and people. I really hated it whenever I was passed that stack of papers. But it was a good experience because at least now I'm not so afraid of making calls to companies or people. (And it was kind of like a preparation for my next job at the call centre haha!) Even though I only worked there for 2 weeks, it was really rather tiring since I worked from 9am to 7pm (or later) on most days. And I could not exactly slack by playing with my phone since I was sitting right in front of the HR department lol. So I had to find myself work to do, otherwise pretend as if I'm very busy LOL.

February - May 2014: $$$IRAS$$$
No, the dollar signs are not because of the pay. Haha because the nature of the job concerns people's money. I have nothing much else to elaborate on about this, since I think I have mentioned in quite a few posts about my time at iras. It was really quite an unforgettable experience and I feel proud of myself for deciding to take on this job *claps for myself* HAHA. This was one really big step I took out of my comfort zone during this period of 8 months.

February - August 2014: CDAC SHG
How could I have (almost) left this out. This year I started doing many things alone. I started watching movies alone, signing up for lessons alone, shopping alone. SHG was another thing that I signed up for alone. In the past I would feel too self-conscious (about what idk?) to go for such things alone. But nah I decided it's time to grow up haha. I had always wanted to do some long-term volunteering thing which does not require too much of a commitment, so SHG being once in a week thing was perfect. Plus I wanted to try tutoring since teaching is one of my alternative career choices. Honestly, what I had expected was to be teaching a small class, not one-to-on tutoring. But it works too I guess. A class would be too much to handle haha. The kid I am assigned to this year is Farisa. She's a quiet girl, but is willing to do her work. I have much more to write about this, but I will leave it to the end of this year's SHG to sum it up. Moving on, I also met many people from SHG, mostly around our age like 18-21, some undergrads and a few working adults. Really nice people here. They make you feel integrated easily :) And some of the kids here really just brighten your day with their cuteness ^^

March - August 2014: Muay Thai lessons
Another thing that I went way out of my comfort zone for. The very first two lessons I went for at Fight360 and BXG, I went alone. ALONE. Yeah it was honestly intimidating. Especially since I have zero experience and I'm not exactly a very sporty or fit person. But that's why I wanted to go for such lessons. At Fight360, they got someone (who I think is not an instructor but quite an experienced fighter) to teach me the basic kicks and punches. It was good in the sense that I got a one-on-one lesson on my very first day. He was quite a friendly guy (I really cannot remember his name oops!) and told me to go find him if I came by again. In the past, whenever someone says something like this when I doubt I would see him again, I wouldn't know how to reply and would probably just smile and laugh awkwardly. But one thing I learnt these past few months is that in the real world, most adults do not mean what they say. It's all just superficial talk, all standard sentences to create conversation or to appear friendly. It's like standard operational procedures. Yeah. So I decided to just go with the flow whenever I'm talking to people outside. It's kinda sad though if everyone becomes like this. But this is society. If you do not reply back using the standard phrase that they expect, you become unsociable, unfriendly. Then again, sometimes I don't care too much especially towards random people on the streets since I'll probably never see them again so who cares what they think of me haha. It all depends on my mood LOL.
Omg okay that was off-track. Back to MT. After my first two lessons, I subsequently went to Yod Kai Muay after jio-ing Kaining to go with me haha. On our very first lesson there, the warmness of William and Eric bought us over LOL. So we ended up going there then on and signed a 10 session package :P Below is a picture taken just yesterday with instructor Sarawut (I finally got his name haha!):

May 2014: Hong Kong trip
Second trip with friends! This time round was with Kaining and Yiksheng! Too bad xm was unable to join us :( This trip was planned quite in detail I would say. But plans are plans. Execution is another thing hahaha. We tried to stick to our itinerary, which turned out to be a little too packed and we did not factor in enough time for travelling from one place to another. Plus walking down 6 (?) street markets on the first day right after we landed was not exactly very feasible haha. We ended up going back to the hotel for a nap before coming out again for dinner. Anyway, the people there were more helpful than we thought they would be! You know how the typical impression of Hongkongers is that they are impatient and cold? That's why we were quite surprised when not one, not two, but three people approached the three blur-looking girls who seemed like they were lost LOL. Honestly speaking, I was a little suspicious of them at first, that maybe they were targeting the things in our bags. Lesson learnt from the Europe trip. But nah it turns out they were probably just being helpful. Sorry for doubting their kindness! >< Anyway, somehow the focus of our trip turned to FOOD hahaha. But really, there isn't much to buy at HK, it's almost the same as Sg. That's why as with my Taiwan trip, I ended up spending the most on food ^^ I bought the most food back again LOL. Oh but I spent the most on a cushion I bought for my grandma. She loves it hahaha and even made a cover for it because she said she's afraid to dirty it aww. Presenting to you Bananaman :D

June - July 2014: Engin Camp, ChESS camp
...........I paused here for quite some time. And I realise I have nothing much to talk about the camps. Okay I met a lot of new people, had a hard time matching their names with their faces, got to see many interesting characters. But there was no one that I really liked. As a person. Maybe the duration of the camp was too short for me to really know people, especially not if I choose to not open up to them in the first place. But yeah the camps were fun while it lasted, even though I would not want to have fishy water (with fish scales) poured over my head and have soy sauce, peanut butter (oh the all-time favourite...), flour and what not all over me again. It's really about whether you choose to have fun or not la. As much as I'm not the kind who really suits such social camps, I still think it's a good experience and that people should at least go for one of such uni camps.


Wow I'm finally done with this. There, quite a lot of things I have done right! The rest of my time (especially June and July) were spent slacking at home spamming jdramas haha and doing random stuff like piecing my Totoro puzzle and travelling across half of the island to Ubi for driving lessons. It has been a fulfilling 8 months with many new experiences! Goodbye my holidays~~ T-T

I'm itching to do some math.

Yeah, math.

Mathematics.

Haha I guess I kind of miss doing math questions (lyx should feel proud LOL). I went to download the math lecture notes in preparation for school, and I started reading up since it was basically a recap on A level stuff. All the differentiation, integration.... I realise Uni notes like to complicate things lol the way they write it makes it look so complicated but actually it's the old A levels standard.

Idk if I'm being very kiasu or what, but besides the math lecture notes, I even went to watch one (just one!) webcast for the IT mod. Okay, and half a CN webcast :x Nah I choose to belief that I'm just curious about what kind of content exactly we will be learning and it must also be because I currently have too much time on my hands haha. I was supposed to crash oweek on Saturday, but I changed to Sunday because it was kind of troublesome to go on that day since I had things on that afternoon. BUT eventually I did not even crash the camp hahaha. I was lazy la and I kind of lost the camp mood, I am on school preparation mode haha plus there was no obligation for me to go for the camp since I did not pay for it :p

Oh and I found an ebook for the math textbook for my math mod hahaha save money :D

A meal with the pros

Met up with the iras peeps today for dinner! Actually it's like the very first gathering we had ever since we started work on 4th Feb this year. It's amazing how it all still felt so comfortable talking and laughing over meal time despite not meeting these people for like 3 months? That's the same period of time I knew most of them for. It's most probably thanks to Chris and Najib who keep the conversation going, especially Najib. He's a hilarious guy haha plus he has an infectious laughter and he's the kind who talks well with anyone. Cool dude.

Ronnie will be leaving for UK soon to further his studies. It was also nice to know him. He told me that he's actually quite a quiet and introverted person, but that he tries to talk more otherwise it would be hard to make friends, especially for guys. I was kind of surprised at first when he told me that because he seemed rather outgoing, but yeah I suppose he was just trying his best. Haha honestly at first Alicia and I were kind of irritated with him during training (on our first two weeks at work they gave us training) because he kept asking weird questions and was trying too hard? But yea there's always a reason for everything. All the best man! Oh and thanks for always feeding us with snacks! :P

During my 3.5 months at iras, I got to say that I really clicked with this guy called Zhan Yao. Nah don't get me wrong, it's not what you are thinking. You know how there's some people who you can just get along with from the very first day? Yeah just that. He was one of the person I sat beside most of the time during the first few weeks after we started manning the line, so naturally we would talk. And he was the one who helped me takeover one of my messed up call I received sometime during the first week of manning the line haha so yeah forever grateful for that. He's like a small boi boi (as affectionately referred to by Jasmine HAHA) because of his height and face XD Anyway yea I could talk to him about random stuff in between calls and what not without feeling awkward. Hope to see him around nus FOE!

Another person who I clicked with was Vivien. She's a funny girl also hahah too gullible and a little aunty when she complains about her calls :P Oh and weirdly she seems to be getting the most number of funny calls haha. And why I say she's gullible is because she ALWAYS falls for Najib's lies even though it is so obviously a lie LOL.

Ah this post seems a bit overdue right... Haha I just felt like typing a little about these guys after today's meet up. There's just too many people to mention, I have only mentioned 3 of them. The rest shall be kept in my memories~ Regardless of whether or not this group will still remain in contact in the future, these people have contributed to an unforgettable time during my stay at iras for 3.5 months. And I'm sure it will be one of those things that I will smile upon thinking back about it when I am old and retired. Never regretted making the decision to step out of my comfort zone and work at a call centre! At least now I can make calls out more comfortably haha!

Oh yeah guys, maybe you would already have noticed this from my previous post, but oh yeah I'm taking a sociology mod this sem!!! ^^

I had a really hard time deciding the last mod to bid for. I considered legal environment of business, Singapore Studies (SS) mods, marketing mod, science of music and a few others that I cannot remember. But after taking into factors such as timetable scheduling and the grade-free sem, I ended up bidding for sociology. Why? Mainly because the grade-free sem allows me to take something that I'm interested in but not confident in scoring well for. Sociology requires essay writing, something like gp I suppose. But I really want to bid for the few mods I mentioned, especially science of music (it focuses on the physics of music, like waveforms and whatnot haha) and for my SS mod, Singapore taxation HAHA. Yeah because I have some background knowledge about tax matters from working at IRAS :B

Btw, I started watching 中国好声音 since last week and wow, China really has an unlimited pool of talents lol. And the 4 music producers are funny trying to promote themselves to the participants XD

Uni preparation

This is what my timetable would be like for my first semester. The tutorials and lab sessions are not fixed yet though. Seems like 2 hour lectures are the norm lol why so long :( but according to my seniors they said lectures usually end 25 mins earlier for you to travel to your next venue.

Anyway, I am using my new macbookkkkkkk ^^ Ordered on the day the new versions came out, which were cheaper with higher specifications hoho. Plus I ordered online with the student price so it was not too ex. And omg I love the battery life haha I can use continuously for hours without having to charge the battery!

Met up with my chess camp og today for dinner! It was the first gathering since the camp almost a month ago lol. The group is not very spontaneous so the dinner was planned rather poorly and last minute with 5 people unable to make it. But it turned out better than expected! I think maybe I happened to be in a good mood today so I was more talkative than usual. Or maybe it's just because it's a smaller group.  I can finally foresee the possibility of going to lectures with this group of people :)

Before dinner, I met up with my dear twin lx for a one-to-one afternoon tea for the first time in 19 years. So far we only meet up when our mums have some sort of gathering. Why I call her my twin is simply because we are born on the same day (and same hospital coincidentally). And believe it or not, our lives have had some common points. She's like my fated friend (?) haha. Our mums were good friends since secondary school (which is dhs haha) but they did not contact each other so frequent afterwards. Then a few days after I was born, they met each other at the hospital and realised that both their child had been born on the same day! Haha so since then they kept in touch again and since their children were of the same age group, they organised like homestays and what not during school holidays. Lx has an elder sister too who is 3 years older. So basically, my sis and I grew up playing with them. Even though now we no longer 'play' together, it always feels nice to gather together once in a while. But I always feel some kind of bond with lx no matter how long we have not met haha.

Oh yeah~ I am finally looking forward to the start of the term a little more after looking at all the unrestricted electives ^^ I have plans to take UEs on chemistry, psychology, sociology, japanese studies....... Suddenly university life seems so much brighter LOL.

Anyway I was really confused about all the bidding for modules just now after my friend informed me that the first round of bidding is on 31 July!!! So like a kiasu Singaporean, I immediately went to research on the bidding process and I ended up watching a one hour 15 minutes long video hahaha. But it was really useful and it was considerate of the school to prepare such a video :) So much clearer of how the whole thing works and now I'm prepared for WAR >) hahahaha seriously the whole bidding thing is so scary.

It's coming to the end of July, which means that 8 months have passed since A levels was over. I cannot believe it man, time just passed so fast. Last year at this point in time we would have just gotten back our JCT results. When I think back about how I stayed in school studying at the LC till 9pm before/after prelims, it does not feel that long ago at all. But really, 8 months is a long period of time and now that I think about it, I have actually done quite a lot of things. Many first experiences, stepping out of my comfort zone, knowing so many more people despite it mostly being superficial and short-termed relationships. Nonetheless, I'm grateful for these people who made my life more bearable during the period of time I was with them. I will do a summary of what I have done these past months some time later!

Y'know, it kinda sucks that none of your close friends are in the same campus as you. It means that there's no one to accompany you to join ccas and be a noob with you lol. No one to chill with during common breaks. I know, there's still the people from my og. But I seriously doubt how close we can become. Plus it's always different with people who you have known for a few more years. It's tiring to build new friendships and by this time of our lives most people cannot be bothered to do so.

This could be another reason why I'm not that looking forward to when the term starts, apart from how everyone has been telling me how tough my course is. I'm making myself seem like a kid just about to enter primary school... Oh well.

How do actors develop such huge muscles that seem like they are about to burst??

Went to catch a 10.40am show at vivo just now haha watched Hercules. Actually I felt really lazy to just home just for the show, but the big and empty cinema was just way too tempting for me to not go. It's not often that you get to catch a movie in an empty cinema and not to mention one with a big screen too. Will probably not have the chance to do so again once school starts :(

Anyway, the show was just okay... Not fantastic, just mehhh. Btw just in case any of you intends to watch this show and are hoping that it's about the Greek mythology, don't keep your hopes too high! It's more of a war kind of show I suppose..

A Dysfunctional Little Family

Time for me to finally blog about the stay-over at MBS last weekend haha. Now I will no longer use my phone to blog, lesson learnt from the previous time :(

Met up with Yuxin first on Friday for lunch since the rest were not free. Finally had SMU pasta after hearing so much about it haha. It was really not bad, except that the pasta I ordered (chicken sausage) was a little too salty, but the texture of the pasta was goooood. I generally do not like pasta, because it's usually too hard for my liking so I prefer the thin kind of pasta. But even though the pasta they used was not the super thin kind, I still liked it so yea that says something about it ;) Next time I'm going to try the creamy pasta! After lunch we went to Yuxin's house while waiting for time to pass before we could go check in at 6pm. Watched one episode each of Sherlock Holmes and Dr Who~~ I finally get what the big hoo-ha over Sherlock is all about hahaha. It's like the kind of Japanese detective dramas that I like, except that the filmography is of higher standard and of course all the UK architecture and feelssss :p Gonna continue with Season 3 when I get my new laptop and start learning how torrent works LOL. Dr Who was not too bad either, but I cannot really stand the poor CG effects hahah. Okay fine, considering how the first episode which I watched came out in 2005, maybe the later episodes are not that bad. But I quite like this genre of shows so I may give it another try when school starts, if I have the time.

We then headed over to MBS with our barang barang and a cake that we bought earlier, which we then realised that Yik had a free (atas and nice) cake from her workplace :(

In short, the stay-over was spent mostly on us deciding what to do, otherwise waiting for one another to get ready LOL. Other than that, we watched movies/shows, played bang, ate junk food and simply nua-ed around. AND PULLMAN BAKERY!!! <3 Oh we (except for sz and zq who stayed in the room to watch their game competition) went out on the second night to buy some food and chill in our sloppy outfit wearing school-based tees, shorts and slippers haha. We talked about a few random stuff, starting from the ghost stories in NS, to things like love (lol I can't believe we held a discussion on this) and the death penalty. Anyway, let me just add on to why I cannot see the point in having 3 people to activate the switch for the execution for the death penalty. According to the rest, even though 3 switch will be pressed, but only 1 switch will work and no one will know which button was the working one. So this kind of helps to make the 3 people feel better as they could have not been the one to cause the convict to die. This works I suppose, but only if they always change the 3 people for every execution. I'm imagining myself to be one of the 3 people there. If I was asked to do such a shitty job for only one time, means I have one out of three chances or 33.3% of being the one to kill the guy. Okay so I may not feel so bad because I have 66.6% of not being the one. But if I have to keep doing this for days, weeks, months, obviously the percentage will change and it is highly unlikely that I will never kill a person. Just knowing this alone is enough to make me feel guilty. Okay but of course this is assuming the 3 people are fixed for a certain period of time. No matter what, I can only say that the 3 chosen people must have done something evil in their previous lives.

Okay back to the stay-over. On the last day after checking out hastily because we woke up at 11.50am even though we were supposed to check out by 12pm HAHA, we went for lunch at Ramen Champion followed by a LAN session. It's been a long time since I last went to LAN haha it's only with this group of people. Played L4D2 which I think I kinda sucked at even though it's fun and CS. I guess it's an instinct to randomly shoot people or zombies when you are a noob, no? Hahaha. Afterwards, we went to Tom's Palette for ice-cream and hoping for a place to chill, but NO. The place was ruined by a group of people who made so much noise and were insensitive to their surroundings. Especially that one guy with the super annoying voice and yet still spoke so loud. What a way to end off the stay-over man.

Anyway, although we did not do much, it's always nice just hanging around with this bunch of peeps ^^ It really all depends on the company you have. Once again thanks nic for the MBS rooms! It's seriously a luxury lor, I felt paiseh just telling my sis where I was going to have my "sleepover". My mum even complained that she has never stayed at MBS before and yet I have already done so twice LOL. Next time we can get a chalet instead~

波のゆくさき by The Ricecookers

Love this song <3 The English version is used as the main theme song for SPEC, but I prefer the Japanese version. Somehow the lyrics it just seems to flow better..? The English lyrics seem a bit awkward lol

Went to work for Yuxin's parents/aunt today~ I realised it was my first time doing a job out of office haha I was confined to the office for my previous 2 jobs so this was a good experience despite it being a one day thing. Honestly I would rather have done such jobs rather than office jobs but when it comes to the pay... Hahaha working at a call centre is more attractive.

Anyway, we went to 3 schools (nygh, admiralty primary, rgs) to set up a stall selling chinese books by this author who was giving talks at the schools. I mainly helped out with arranging the books and a little of cashiering. Moving the books from the foyer at rgs to the allocated venue was terrible man lol even though we had the trolley. It was just slopes, slopes and no slopes :o

Yuxin and I had a quick lunch at the primary school but the food was super disappointing :( Our impression of primary school food was that it is cheap and good but NO, the food was horrible (super diluted curry, soggy veggie and tasteless fried rice) and it was not even that cheap. Perhaps primary school food always was of this standard, just that our taste buds had yet to mature then haha. We should have gone to rgs to eat la the food there seems much better!

After we ended work, we walked all the way to Taka specially for the ice-cream uncle HAHA. That's like the best ice-cream you can have please. Cheap and good. (Though the price has increased to $1.20 now.) Chocolate chip ice-cream with breaddddd <3 Hehe.

Yayay looking forward to the sleepover this weekend ^^

I just typed a long post and everything is gone!!!!@ @$#&*)!%@*&

What I have been up to these days

Apart from uni camps, driving lessons, muay thai and occasional meetups with people, I have been spending most of my days at home mainly watching dramas. Not too long ago I remember I mentioned that after A levels I found watching dramas a waste of time and I'd rather do other things, haha but now I'm back to watching them. Just a recap on the few dramas (all Japanese lol) I have watched since I became unemployed close to two months back (in chronological order). I understand if you choose to over-look this post haha!

1. Joker Yurusarezaru Sosakan

The first drama that I watched would have obviously been a detective show haha. Rather than focusing on solving each murder case like most other similar dramas, I would say that the show focuses more on the issue of justice. Whenever a criminal fails to get prosecuted due to insufficient evidence even though it is clear in the show that the criminal is guilty, the protagonist who is a detective will punish them by sending them off to an island for lifelong imprisonment. I know, I was kinda turned off by the plot also lol it seems kinda lame, but it gets you thinking about the issue of justice. If the law fails, then is such action taken considered valid? Spoiler: Anyway it turns out that there's an organisation working behind the scenes, otherwise known as the secret police. I realise J-dramas seem to like plots regarding the secret police lol.

2. Soratobu Kouhoushitsu (Public Affairs Office in the Sky)

This is a show about planes. LOL. I know I am being judged now hahaha. Initially I was really hesitating on whether or not to start on this show because of the synopsis on drama wiki. It did not seem interesting at all, even though I enjoyed hk drama Triumph to the Skies which is about pilots and planes when I was young. But no, trust me, this show is nothing similar to that. Soratobu Kouhoushitsu focuses mainly on the young man's passion for fighter planes (sounds boring right!) and of course some romance and comedy. However, the show was surprisingly not bad. Maybe the starting may seem a little uninteresting, but as you keep watching, the show just grows on you. Oh but the technical terms seriously turned me off haha but my brain just ignored them somehow. The way the show was filmed actually made me better appreciate the planes like the ones used for NDP. The filmography and the theme song (Contrail by Namie Amuro) together just made the whole scene so spectacular. And thus, the blog url haha. Btw, the old man in the show is cute HAHA because he always does some weird actions.

3. Last Cinderella

This show was funny and goooooood. From the picture you can tell it is of romance genre. I have nothing else much to say for this drama except that I would rather the main character (acted by Shinohara Ryoko) end up with the other guy (acted by Fujiki Naohito) :( Partly because of the freaking huge age difference of 17 years between her and the younger guy (Miura Haruma) in real life?!??! It was a little disturbing when I found out their real age but she doesn't look like her age so I guess that helped. Anyway, Fujiki Naohito is good looking despite his age haha he actually looks better with a stubble.

4. Keizoku 2: SPEC

!!!!!! I love this show hohohoho. It's another detective show, plus some supernatural elements. It's a world where humans evolve and people have special abilities called SPEC. It's a little bit like X-men. For example the ability to stop time, predict the future, read people's minds, create illnesses...... Toda Erika plays the role of the protagonist Toma Saya alongside Kase Ryo as Sebumi Takeru, both being detectives. They deal with unusual murder cases that turn out to be done by people with spec ability, or who are known as spec-holders. The show is cool in the sense that it is hard to determine how the murder is committed since it involves supernatural abilities, not to mention how to convict the criminal. But Toma being the genius with IQ over 200, she somehow manages to figure them out lol. The best would definitely be the stand-off against Ninomae (played by Kamiki Ryunosuke). Kamiki really did a good job playing the role of Ninomae applause applause! Toda Erika also did well playing the role of the genius-yet-goofy-gyoza-lover Toma-kun. Hahaha her antics are hilarious man. I have a feeling that some of those antics were ad-libs by Toda haha. Anyway the drama is followed by one special episode and two movies (one of which has two parts, so that's about 3 movies). However, I honestly didn't like the movies mainly because it made things super confusing and the CG was terrible -.- It just made the show seem lame. But yea overall I still love the show because it's the kind of genre I like ^^

5. Umi no Ue no Shinryojo (A Clinic on the Sea)

Another show that looks boring. And it kinda is. Haha the main reason why I wanted to start on this show was because of Matsuda Shota and Toda Erika (the two main characters from Liar Game). Though unfortunately Toda isn't part of the main cast of this show. Nonetheless Matsuda Shota was funny in this show haha it's so different from his role as Akiyama Shinichi. And he looks much better in this show lol in LG he looked a little weird from certain angles :p It's probably because of his hairstyle. Anyway the show is about this clinic on a boat that goes around to different islands throughout the year. Matsuda Shota plays the role of Dr Kota who falls in love with a woman whenever they visit a new island LOL. It's mainly a comedy plus some medical elements.

6. Switch Girl!!

Switch Girl was plain HILARIOUS. To put it shortly, the main character has two sides to her. In school and out of home, she's in her 'on-mode'. So basically she's the Miss Popular and eludes charisma and what not as you can see on the left side of the poster. But back at home, she switches to her 'off-mode' and becomes some weirdass geek who snatches for the items on offer in the supermarket like some auntie hahaha. Kudos to Nishiuchi Mariya for being so daring to take on this role LOL there must have been many embarrassing scenes. And the male lead played by Kiriyama Renn has a pretty face ;) Hahaha I think he looks like Kim Hyun Joong from certain angles. Anyway I recommend this show if you're looking for a light-hearted show! Plus you wouldn't take much time to complete the show even though it has two seasons because for each season, there are only 8 episodes and each episode is only 30 minutes long! 

Whoa finally finished this post. Feels like some kind of review haha but nah it is mainly for my own tracking purposes. It's been a good life :D

Utada Hikaru - First Love

Ahhh chanced upon this song on YT while searching for new songs. It's been a while since I last listened to it haha so it was really nostalgic especially because it was one of my most listened songs. I think it was during my year 1/2 days? Idk what kind of songs people then listened to, probably some C-pop or Western music, but the music I listened to during my primary and secondary school days mainly consisted of Japanese songs followed by K-pop (at that point of time, yes). So it's not a surprise when I have nothing much to talk about when those around me were discussing about the songs they listened to haha it was to the point where I was almost ignorant of  the supposedly popular Western singers. Now I do listen to a few English songs of artists like The Script, Demi, Parachute....... Okay in all honesty I actually had to go check my iTunes LOL. It's just that there's no particular Western singer that I really adore or what so it's hard for me to name them on the spot. Plus I only listen to like one or two songs from each singer. So yeah.



Anyway, below are the lyrics for the song since I could not find a video with proper translated lyrics.

Our last kiss tasted like the cigarette
A sad and bitter fragrance

About this time tomorrow,
Where will you be?
Who will you be thinking of?

You are always gonna be my love
Even if one day I fall in love with someone else
I'll remember to love -- you taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
It's still a sad love song
Until I can sing a new one

The paused time
Is about to move
But I don't wish to forget

About this time tomorrow, 
I'll may be crying,
Probably thinking about you

You will always be inside my heart
There's always a place just for you, so
I hope that I have a place in your heart, too
Now and forever you are still the one
It's still a sad love song
Until I can sing a new one

You are always gonna be my love
Even if one day I fall in love with someone else
I'll remember to love you taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
It's still a sad love song, yeah
Now and forever

Songs like these may be old, but they are classic. Or at least considered as classic in my life.