What's your intention?

Just a quick post about the conversation I had with my dad last night in the car.

I think I have mentioned about this here before - if people do acts of kindness or do volunteer work to make themselves happy or to feel good, then does it downplay the value of their actions?

People say that they volunteer because it is something that they enjoy, because they want a new experience, because they want to give back to society, because they want to feel a sense of accomplishment. And so you realise, eventually it all boils down to their very own self; what they feel happy doing, what they want to achieve, what makes them feel better about themselves.

While I have always believed that helping people or volunteering should be something altruistic, it is a fact that most, if not many, people do so for other reasons. Myself included, of course. For myself, it makes me feel happy when I can help people. I've been having doubts about myself over this though. In the past I thought that oh, if I feel happy helping people, it means that I like being useful and being able to lighten people's burden right? That's good, and so I tried helping people whenever I can.

But in all honesty, deep inside myself, I have been having this doubt that maybe, just maybe, it could be an issue of ego. If I am able to help someone, it means I am useful, it means that I have done something good, it means that I am a good person...? But of course, in order to (seemingly) make my life better, I simply pushed this guilt back inside my heart each time it creeps out.

Yesterday my dad brought up an important reminder about the importance of one's intentions. It's a simple concept yes, and clearly my intention is to help others because it makes me happy. However, what's more important here would be: WHY does it make me happy? Is it simply because of the fact that I am helping others (i.e. the act itself), or is it really because the people I am helping can truly be happier/have less to worry about (i.e. the result). For the former, the intentions revolve around one's self (even if one may not be aware of it), whereas for the latter, the intentions revolve around others.

Right now, I would say that the ratio for my intentions would be 40-60. It was hard to come to the fact that I am still largely self-centred as much as I thought and hoped I am not, but I guess it's human instincts. Basic survival instincts of living things. On the bright side though, I feel that if it were a few years back, this ratio would have been heavier on the left side. The very day where this ratio becomes 0-100 would be the day I would have succeeded as a person.

Heeeeh. Idk why but I'm in a great mood now haha. Just like how my room has become brighter after opening up my curtain which has been closed for the past week HAHA. (If you get me, that is a metaphor hahaha albeit being a lousy one.) Maybe it's because my thoughts have cleared. Perhaps I should have one-to-one conversations with my dad more often (on the appropriate topics of course since he has some rather extreme views I would say haha). I usually don't really like talking about serious topics with him because he's too long-winded LOL and he can be rather subjective. But yeah I suppose if I am able to just be patient and remain objective myself, having more of such conversations would be beneficial.

Oh well, it seems that this post wasn't a very quick post after all haha! If I am not feeling too lazy I will post about my Aussie trip later today :)

As Kaining always says, 感恩

Haha how's the title? ;)

Today has been a rather fulfilling day. Went to collect newspapers and old clothes for Cheway in the morning, but had to leave during lunch time for the laser tag game with the shg kids. Really grateful to the entire team for being so cooperative even though it was very tiring! ^^

On to the main point of this post and on to something more serious. Today I was rather shocked to hear that someone, who is just one year older than I am, had recently found out that he has high cholesterol levels(even though it's borderline). What was even more shocking was that he was no where near fat or plump and in fact he is actually rather skinny. Of all people to have high cholesterol, he would probably have been the last person you would have expected.

It's really so ironic (I know this is not the right word, I can't seem to think of the correct one...). Because he has been skinny for such a long time, he has always been trying to gain weight by eating more meals, which evidently was not effective. And it's most likely because of this reason that resulted in his high cholesterol levels.

Afterwards I also learnt that someone else had some health issues recently also. Someone who is also in his early twenties. It's a long story, but to cut it short, just earlier in the day when we were teasing him as usual of his hair, but he seemed a more sensitive than usual. I was rather taken aback tbh because he's usually ok with such things. So when I heard about his recent health problem and the medications that he was taking, I felt very very bad for laughing along.

And of course Lynn also. Please take better care of yourself..

So that's why don't ever take your youth, your health and your friends for granted. Don't take anything for granted. Anything can happen to you or your friends or family...and it can happen any time.

I was just telling my dad just now about the good thing about going out with guy friends - you don't have to worry about the directions. Haha because girls (IN GENERAL) have a poorer sense of direction so when I'm out with my girl friends or my mum and sis, I'm usually the one finding the directions and whatnot since someone has to find the directions. But when you're out with guys, you can leave all the directions finding to them hahaha. That's what happened when we went to Swee Choon on Thursday XD That being said, I still think I have quite a good sense of direction ;) HAHA.

I guess this example actually kind of reflects my life in general? I mean, I grew up trying to fill up the gaps and that's how my personality is formed. I don't have a very distinct personality by nature I would say, but rather my personality was shaped by the circumstances I was in and the people around me. Such is the life of a person whose life is shape by others lol. That's why my personality is so extreme from my sister's. I tried to become a person who could make up for her flaws. And perhaps it's also because of this that I'm lacking her strengths.

For most parts I feel that this isn't something good. Having a life dependent on others is almost like letting others define who you are, which shouldn't ever be the case. But it also made me become who I am today. I'm still in the process of figuring out my real personality though haha.

#whatrandomthoughts

Ahh. Idk what to say. Just...I guess I have come to accept the fact. Yeah. Okay. That's good. Very good. Yup.

Haaaaah I really dk if it's ok to just keep running away like this.

This has been a very nonsensical post lol. Sorry gonna go sleep now haha.

-
Y'know how people say that you can be alone but not feel lonely? I used to think that being alone was a lonely thing, so I learnt to enjoy doing things alone and my mindset changed. But now I wonder if it's possible to enjoy being alone and feel lonely at the same time?

I guess people change their perspectives to make it easier for them to persevere on, to make it easier to live.

(Oops I'm going to bed now for real lol)

I LOVE NIGHTS LIKE THESE WHERE I DON'T HAVE TO SET AN ALARM WHEEHEEE. GOODNIGHT WORLD.

ALL THE BEST TO THOSE STILL HAVING EXAMS!

宇多田ヒカル - 光

Yay another song that I used to spam. Also take a moment to laugh at how ridiculous the music video is LOL. The lyrics sucks as usual because of the translation :/



I was always all alone
And I’d forgotten my destiny
And now suddenly, at midnight, my eyes have opened in a light

Stand quietly at the exit and light shining through the darkness

Will promises made now only cause anxiety?
I just want to put my wish into words
I’ll even introduce you to my family, it’s sure to go well

We’re always together
You’re always by my side
A light called “you” has found me at midnight

Join this noisy road and take off Fate’s mask

You’re making too many predictions for the future; stop it, it doesn’t mean anything
Today, let’s just eat something delicious
The future is way ahead of us, I don’t even know what will happen

Don’t make it perfect, just make it a little better
Just take it one scene at a time
The light called “you” reflects my every scenario

Let’s talk a little more about the future that’s appeared before our eyes
Turn off the TV, look only at me

No matter how good it is, I can’t fully believe it
And even then, you’re by my side
A light called “you” has found me at midnight

Let’s talk a little more about the future that’s appeared before our eyes
Turn off the TV, look only at me

宇多田ヒカル - First Love

Another classic song in my life. All the feels haha.









Our last kiss
Tasted like tobacco
A bitter and sad smell

Tomorrow, at this time
Where will you be?
Who will you be thinking about?

You are always gonna be my love
Even if I fall in love with someone once again
I'll remember to love
You taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
It's still a sad song
Until I can sing a new song

The paused time is
About to start moving
There's many things that I don't want to forget about

Tomorrow, at this time
I will probably be crying
I will probably be thinking about you

You will always be inside my heart
You will always have your own place
I hope that I have a place in your heart too
Now and forever you are still the one
It's still a sad song
Until I can sing a new song

You are always gonna be my love
Even if I fall in love with someone once again
I'll remember to love
You taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
It's still a sad song
Until I can sing a new song

Shuo Hao De Xing Fu Ne 說好的幸福呢 (Where Is the Promised Happiness?) MV - Ja...

周杰倫【聽爸爸的話 官方完整MV】Jay Chou "Listen to Dad" MV (Ting-Ba-Ba-De-Hua)

Oh man such a sad song :'(

周杰倫【聽爸爸的話 官方完整MV】Jay Chou "Listen to Dad" MV (Ting-Ba-Ba-De-Hua)

Oh man such a sad song :'(

周杰倫【手寫的從前 官方完整MV】Jay Chou "Handwritten Past" MV (Shou-Xie-De-Cong-Qian)

Hooooh... I've not been listening to much Jay Chou songs haha. In fact I haven't been listening to much Chinese songs. I came across a few of his latest songs which are of similar style to his older songs which I like ^^

Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.

- Mother Theresa

Sometimes people think they know you. They know a few facts about you, and they piece you together in a way that makes sense to them. And if you don't know yourself very well, you might even believe that they are right. But the truth is, that isn't you. That isn't you at all.

- Leila Sales