Another night of confused thoughts and lonely moments. Maybe I shall start on my Totoro jigsaw puzzle ;)

I always wondered why on earth am I unable to get close to my sister and just talk to her randomly like those sisters you see on dramas. It cannot be that this only happens in dramas right. Idk maybe it's because I don't respect her enough... or maybe I'm the one that pushes her away. Idk man. Likewise she also doesn't seem to like talking to me. When my cousins come she'd share with them so much more things than she would ever tell me. Most of the times I get updated on her life by either my parents or during our conversations in the car. Another thing is, I realise that I tend to speak less whenever she's around... Like when we're out together as a family of four, as compared to when I'm out with just my parents, most of the times when she's talking I do not comment much. It could be because I'm afraid of offending her (there was once she ignored me for days because of something I said) or maybe I simply dislike her. IDK. Btw, one thing I really hate is when people do not reply me. At least give a damn response just a 'mm' will suffice too. That's another thing about my sis that irritates me to the core.

Ok shall stop here since it seems like I'm badmouthing her. But YEA DAMN IT AFTER ALL THESE YEARS.

Bye.