I feel a little useless not knowing what to say or what to do. But it's your own decision to make, so my opinions are not that important; also because standing from a third person's POV, I wouldn't know a single thing how the people involved feel.

IMO it's also for the better I guess? So that my opinion will not affect your decision. I suppose that's why I don't usually approach others when I face problems. (Also because I'll become even more confused lol.) Even if it's a wrong decision or a decision that was made blindly, I want to see the outcome of the decision that I made. And you have to take full responsibility of the outcome because there's no one for you to blame. It's kinda interesting isn't it? Haha it's like a test or experiment.

So yea, think things through, listen to your heart, be at peace with yourself and make the decision. Once you've made the decision, be firm.

And cheer up dear! No matter how intimidating the future may seem, those who have been beside you will trudge alongside you!

Forevermore - Jed Madela

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J64xYfX5wH8&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Is it just me or does this song sound familiar?

While waiting for my next driving lesson, shall kill time by updating this blog.

The past week just zoomed by like nothing ever took place, but in fact there were too many new experiences that happened.

First, Engin camp. Glad I pushed myself to participate in the entire camp like an enthu kia haha I was like the most enthu girl in my og okay! Things are only fun when you really 放得开 and just go all out and have fun~ I'm usually not a fun fun person, but I guess when you force yourself to be fun, it somehow works and you find yourself having fun. Initially did not want to join the pool games (cuz we had to wear swimming attires but turns out we could wear shorts so it wasn't that bad) and the finale night. Pool games was just..fail hahaha my og lost all except for the last game but we were still cool about it. Finale night was kinda lame la, mainly just pageant, mass dance and cheering. It was supposed to end off with a party like the one we had during SH orientation, but it was so FAIL. At first they started playing music without turning off the lights so everyone was just dumbly standing around not knowing what's going on. Afterwards when they switched off the lights, it was like just clubbing in the dark cuz they didn't even have the clubbing lights or something so after a while people stopped LOL.

Anyway, speaking of new experiences, they made us do lots of couple games during station games and SP (special partner) time. It wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be though. I guess all you had to do is to just do it without much thought. No feelings whatsoever hahaha. Like a robot. Honestly I think these games were purely for the ogls' entertainment purposes.

Also got to know many new people apart from Jason that crasher haha. Christina's a hilarious girl I tell you XD Got along well with Jesslyn too, my fellow call centre mate working at MOM! Oh and met a DHS senior too who has been with his gf for 7 years since sec 2! Cool right haha and apparently they're intending to get married. We asked if they ever got sick of each other and he said no so determinedly whoa.

So many more things to share about the camp, share with you all one day!

(Contiuing from where I left off while waiting for time to pass before meeting my og for dinner!) Next, June camp! Honestly I don't think I was being very responsible cuz I was like half-dead theoughout the camp and was dozing off every now and then thanks to Engin camp. Engin camp ended on Thurs night 10pm, even though I slept till 2pm the next day, it was clearly not sufficient for me to repay my sleep debt. Come on, we only slept 2-3hrs for the 3 nights during the camp?! Yea so that left me super shag for the June camp. And idk why but I've got a feeling that my tutee doesn't really like me D: Like I kept trying to talk to her but she was kinda cold to me. In the past she would still talk to me or approach me for help. Maybe it's cuz I didn't treat her well enough idk man. Maybe cuz she sees that I prefer to mingle with other kids and joke around with them more. But that's cuz she's quieter and so idk how to joke with her and I also want to interact with the other kids what. Sigh idk.

Anyway, I met another Dunmanian senior during the camp haha we happened to be in the same group. She's 5 years older though, the first batch of IP students. She was very nice and friendly ^^ and wah my group's 2nd in-charge is super high omg she can just go high all by herself and still do her testimonial stuff at night *bows in respect*.

Okay I'm feeling sleepy again after my high tea like a taitai LOL that's the thing about being unemployed. You have more free time, spend more, eat more, gain more weight haha

JUMP!

Went to the trampoline park at tanjong katong today with the kiddos~ ^^ Was kinda fun jumping but over time it gets kinda boring (and exhausting!) unless you dare to attempt flips or other stunts. Haha so basically most of us were just jumping around like many Tiggers.

I tried to climb onto the wall at the side but failed to do so :( Jazell was the only female who succeeded at it haha as expected of the dragon boat-er! My greatest challenge was to jump as high as possible LOL. But I started to feel my back hurting after a while oops so I jumped less.

The kids were seriously exhilarated and jumped non-stop for the whole hour (wow I admire their energy levels lol!) and they didn't really want to leave the place haha. Afterwards we headed back to the centre where we held the birthday celebration for everyone(?).

After the kids left, went for lunch with the vols at some zichar stall at Holland V. Was supposed to eat at Two Chefs (双厨) but they were down for renovation :( So after walking all the way there, we had to walk even further to Holland V under the hot sun. It was like Gardenasia part 1.5 LOL.

Lunch was interesting thanks mainly to Kaiyin hahaha and also Wei Sheng (i think that's his name oops) who got tricked into eating the cereal prawn without removing the shell XD

Monday will be the first day of Engin Camp, hope it will turn out well! I heard for most camps they will go to a club on the last day, which explains why they asked us to bring 2 sets of dresses. I think I will just pon it haha so maybe I will go home on the third day :p this is just not my type of thing.

When I come back, it will soon be the SHG camp! ^^ Haha I think I will enjoy it much more.

Anyway, sorry guys I failed to do the delivery thing.. mainly because 1) it's hard to meet up with you guys and 2) I forgot about the fact that I have engin camp right before the expiry date of the cookies >< Hope they somehow get delivered to you all!

Hi. I love rock music. 石头音乐。

Haha when I listen to songs mainly by One Ok Rock, Nell or Younha (rock genre), I get goosebumps just by imagining the scene of the band performing live. I am not kidding. Freaking had goosebumps on the train on my way home today.

And recently I have come to really like the sound of the electric guitar. Have I mentioned this before? Haha anyway I find it being a very versatile in the sense that it can be played to sound crazy like in those heavy metal (oops just spelt it as mental LOL) songs, which are absolutely NOT my cup of tea, or played to sound so sorrowful that it tugs on your heartstrings. My very first impression of the instrument was that it was so noisy and unpleasing to the ears and I had no idea how could people like it. But, as with most cases, I tend to end up liking something that I used to dislike haha.

ANYWAY, back to the topic of yaogun music. I really want to attend the concerts of the above-mentioned artists (but of course my long-time no.1 is of first priority :p) if they would even come to SG. Okay, OOR actually came down a few months back, but that was just before I knew about their songs T.T Terrible man. Now I will have to wait for another 10 years or so, or purchase an air ticket and fly over to attend their concerts. But the thing is, idk who will want to go with me. Oh well.

Rock on peeps!! Hahaha

Maybe I'm a person who is afraid of letting go; one who holds on to the past when it's clearly time to let go.

Maybe our existance in someone's life is limited to that few years, after which, like a fresh new beginning, it's time for changes and some get eliminated. Maybe it's because some have not done enough that proves their worth. Maybe some people just do not 'click' with each other.

But why only now? Then what was the past all about?

-

Feeling annoyed tonight again idk why, maybe Sunday nights are my moody nights. And no, don't worry, it's not solely about what we were talking on a while ago. I already felt like that since this evening..?

Anyway, I am looking forward to:

1. SHG outing @ trampoline park on Saturday
2. Engin camp next wk (but I have yet to receive the packing list!)
3. SHG camp
4. Driving lessons

More excited for the 1 and 3 though~ Starting to feel more comfortable around the kids (they know my name yay haha!) and the volunteers. The kids are just too pure and full of joy. Well, at least most of them. As for the volunteers, they are seriously a nice bunch of people who try and make you feel at home. Whenever someone goes for an overseas trip, they will bring along some food and share it amongst us. It's been 4 months and considering how I only meet them once a week, I would say I have warmed up to them quite a fair bit!

As for number 4, I kind of enjoy driving actually hahah at least as of now. But going out to drive is really stressful because you have to take note of so many things besides driving the vehicle. Driving in circuit is more fun in the sense that it's challenging when driving though the different courses haha. But when I drove through the S-curve and the 90 degrees bend (forgot what it is called) I went up the curb like 2 or 3 times HAHA oops. Still it was fun :p

Goodnight guys. Have yet to figure out how to kill time tomorrow.

This question somehow popped out in a conversation I had with kn the previous day: When exactly do our roles as a child swap with out parents'? I.e. When do we start supporting our parents, stop relying on them and let them rely on us?

Once we reach 21? Upon graduating from uni? When we start working full-time? When we feel like it?

When do we start becoming the mediator when they quarrel?

When do we start holding back things we want to say or share so as to not affect or hurt their feelings?

When will we ever be big enough to correct them on their mistakes without seeming rude?

Idk man. And it sucks being the younger sibling cuz you cannot seem to interfere in such matters when your elder sibling has not. Maybe it's just me, idk.

Maybe everything will eventually fall in place somehow on its own..