It seems like most people are going through a tough period right now sigh. Soldier on, everyone!

Focus

Went to catch Focus with the outstanding group after having eighteenchefs for dinner tonight. I wouldn't say the movie was brilliant or novel, since it's definitely not the first time I have watched a movie on con artists, the comedy elements were quite good I would say haha. Oh I rarely feel bored halfway through a movie, but this time round I did. I guess the movie could have been cut short for a better pace and to create the suspense. It was still an enjoyable movie though!

Next movie: Kingsmen on Wednesday. Haha kn I shall see if it's really that good as you claimed :p

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The seas have calmed down. Things seem to have returned back to normal on the surface, but no. They can never return back to how they used to be or could have been. Once the damage has been done, it's done. I guess it's time to accept things as they are and move on. OH WELL. Is this how people live? Cuz ain't nobody got time for that?

I think I'm constituted 70% darkness/negativity deep inside of me. I've been trying to flip over this ratio (for the math geeks, it's like taking the reciprocal lol), but it seems like it isn't really working. This is part of my character. But you know what, I'm just gonna keep trying. Try and become a brighter (in terms of the brains too) person. Because why should I live my life like this? I know it's hard to change one's character, but no let's do something about it.

I have no idea how to do this though. Maybe I shall start with some self-help books. I have always been against self-help books because I don't really see the point, isn't life about figuring things out yourself? That's also why I usually don't approach people with my problems, I think I have mentioned this before. But perhaps I could try books for a change, to try out a new way and see if it works.

This seems a little random considering how it's way too late for new year resolutions, but better late than never right? So yea things I want to work on:

1) Stop self-doubting => gain confidence
2) Negate any negativity
3) Prioritise => Better time management => Make more time for people

Thank you to everyone who showed concerned over my supposedly emo posts the past week or so, I really appreciate it <3 I'm going to clear up my mind and become a better person. No one likes to be with a negative person right. I know how it feels to be with one even though I am one myself haha. I just need some time.

YAY. YAY. YAY. (Weak attempt at trying to be high LOL)

Lost all mood to study tonight after a bicker with my sis again. Lucky I have been rather productive in the day. Yep so I went to ensemble my toy poodle nanoblock. Not gonna do anymore work tonight so I'm just gonna go sleep.

To a better day tomorrow!

UK size 11

We're still trying to fit into that pair of shoe that is just one size too big.

Sigh I really dk why things turned out like this when it all still seemed good just two months ago. Idek when things started to change. All of a sudden you realise that people start to drift away, a whatsapp group that originally spams 100 over messages almost everyday has become so quiet... It could be because everyone is busy, or maybe because people don't bother trying anymore since the novelty(?) is lost?

I really dk. This world is too complicated for my small brain I'm sorry.

DAMN.

I feel like cursing right now. Full of angst now. Idk why.

No don't worry, it's definitely not because I'm stressed out for mid-terms. If only it was, then things would be much easier.

On a side note, why is it that nus peeps don't seem to have a proper 'recess' week? We spend our entire recess week preparing for the mid-terms that are on the following week, after which lectures and tutorials resume as per normal on that very same week. What. Okay at least for this semester there is e-learning week, but not for last semester.

I need my break. I want to go catch a movie. I want to go to the beach. I want to take a walk at night. I want to go shopping. I want to meet up with friends. I want to go for rollar coaster rides. I want to travel. I want to enjoy nature.

Look at all the wants.

Perhaps more importantly, I should start answering myself what exactly do I want in life, besides these small wants.

I have been having too many thoughts these days.

Y'know, I realised that as you become older you get touched over things more easily, because you know exactly how precious such an action or display of affection is.

I have something to admit - I cried over something last night. Okay, maybe not cry as in wailing kind of cry, but cry as in more-tears-than-the-usual-tearing kind of cry haha. It was because of this video I came across on fb (I shared it on my fb wall). This dog was crying so badly (in happiness) when one of the family members returned home after 2 years. It cried so badly till it passed out, for real. You can see it collapsing onto the ground for a few moments. Idk why this video affected me so much. It was just really touching somehow.

Why can't people be as direct in showing their affections? I'm guilty of this also of course. It's just...what's hindering us from doing so? Why can't we be as simple as dogs? Maybe you'd say that it's because humans have a greater ability to think. Yea that's why we complicate things so much. And I believe one's complicatedness often stems from one's self-centeredness. It's so annoying. If everyone in this world would be less complicated, there wouldn't be politics, wars, scams.... I know I'm being very idealistic here, but this is a hope I hold for this world.

Anyway back to dogs...haha. I love Ruby hehehe. She's getting cuter by the day. Probably because she's becoming more attached to us, hopefully.

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