Sigh I really dk what I'm working towards... No goal = no meaning = no drive

Is it a good or bad thing to base your own happiness on other people's happiness? I feel like I'm living my life for the people in my life. Now I don't even know what I want in MY life that doesn't concern any other people except for myself.

And it sucks to feel like I'm not able to contribute cuz of my limited capabilities. I just want to share people's burden. But am I in the position to do so if I can't even do my own job well...

What is my life all about? What do I really want in life?! Where on earth am I heading towards?!

Questions that I must figure out asap...

Affirmation - Savage Garden

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned

I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burnedI believe the grass is no more greener on the other sideI believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye 

Whoohoo I found some new J-rock bands (even though I was supposed to be watching CM webcast LOL. But some of the band's hairstyle and makeup ah... really no go omg. I can't bear to watch the mv because of that. Oh and the head bangs XD XD

Ah damn idk how things are gonna develop from here on... My brain tells me to just wash my hands off it but my heart feels itchy it makes me want to do something.

I want to do something for someone but if I were to do that it may just become an additional source of pressure on that person. This may sound contradicting. So it would be selfish of me to do what my heart tells me to even if it's meant to benefit the person. But most of the time my heart takes control eventually... I should stop being so wilful. I need more self-control this time round.

Perhaps I need to realign my priorities once again. My priorities have long been family > friends > anyone else. Nowadays I feel as though my first two priorities have swapped places. It's time I readjust them back, and maybe add in studies/career into this list.

This is something I should have done a long time ago, but I honestly don't have a strong motivation for doing well academically or succeeding in my career. I still cannot project my future career life as an engineer because everything is still so unsure. Idek if I made the right choice going into engineering because what I really feel strongly for is to help those in need. But I don't want that to be my job. I really dk...

For now I shall just focus on my studies and pulling up my CAP just like any other kiasu Singaporean.

Family > Friends > Studies > School commitments > Exercise > External commitments

That's my new priorities list, even though I highly predict that I will prioritise Cheway stuff over studies in reality. I mean, that's what I'm already doing now lol.
-

I'm eternally grateful to have such friends :')

First day of semester two today. Wasted an hour queuing for the twelve cupcakes promo because the cupcakes got sold out right when we were left with two other customers in front of us! :(

This very interesting thing happened while we were in the queue. I was busy whatsapping when this prc women starting talking super loudly and requested this auntie who was queuing in front of us to delete the photo she had taken. This woman accused the auntie for taking her photo and demanded the photo to be deleted. When the auntie refused to do so, she raised her voice even louder and started to snatch the auntie's camera from her. At this point in time, I was still rather unclear of what was going on. I thought that the auntie was in the wrong for snapping pictures of others without their consent. But it turns out that she did that because the prc woman had jumped queue!! If you think that she was shameless to even raise her voice when she was in the wrong in the first place, gosh no one can ever beat her shamelessness when she shouted super loudly "就算我插队有怎样？！" Like what the heck she just blatently admitted that she had jumped queue in front of the long queue of people who eventually didn't get their cupcakes??? This is shamelessness to a whole new level. She didn't even budge when the security guard asked her to leave the queue so the security guard could not do anything either and just walked off eventually lol.

So yeah, that was the only takeaway from the one hour wasted. Lucky it's only the first day of school.

Anyway, I'm currently considering of taking a minor in nanoscience but I'm still contemplating. If I decide to take it, it means that my remaining breadth and uem mods will have to be the minor modules and I'll have to forgo my biz law and science of music modules T-T Sigh... But anyway this will only pertain to next sem onwards la, so I still have some time to decide. Then again, I tend to end up not taking something that I was considering haha like Jap and nusso. Oh well...

Have a brilliant semester ahead for those in uni! For army guys, jiayou for the remaining days till you ORD hahaha!

Oh and this is a little late but happy new year everyone! :)

I say I like the sea waters, but when the waves come crashing in, would I know how to handle it? Or would I just run away..?

Today's a happy day despite an entire day of meetings from 9am to 6pm. It's rare that I actually still feel energetic after a long day :D Idk if it's because of the coffee I had or because I completed the 6 hour sleep cycle last night haha.
-
I think my mood fluctuates way too easily because of a certain factor. And as much as I tried to, I could not remain angry.