Nell - Run FMV (Two Weeks OST) [ENGSUB + Romanization + Hangul]

I fall and break everydayI hold onto my scar which didn’t even have time to healAs I run through the darkness endlessly

"When you love someone, you never really stop loving that someone."

Saw this at a link someone shared on fb. It's exactly what I believe in.

I think I may have mentioned this somewhere before, but yeah it's either you love someone, or you have never loved that person. I don't believe that you can just stop loving someone so easily. That's why I always try to refrain from using this word.

Anyway, I happened to read something else on the net the other day (also something that someone shared on fb). It was about chivalry. *warning, possible feministic views oncoming* It mentioned how the current day definition of chivalry had differed from its historical definition of chivalry, which was "the combination of qualities expected of an ideal knight, esp courage, honour, justice, and areadiness to help the weak" (from The Free Dictionary). So why then is this term only being used on men when they show politeness to women? What about when a woman shows politeness or kindness to a man? If we don't use chivalry to describe such acts of kindness, then is there any other suitable word? Does it thus mean that there's no need to acknowledge women's acts of kindness to men?

It's something I've been bothered by for quite some time, but the article just sorted out my thoughts more clearly. For example, when guys hold the doors for girls, people think it's gentlemanly of the guy and appreciate their actions, but most people (okay mostly guys) may find it weird to have a girl hold the door for them. I mean come on, the door isn't exactly that heavy. And when you offer to help a guy carry things. Idk, I really don't see how such actions are 'gentlemanly' and 'not characteristic of a woman' when they are just acts of kindness or politeness. You may have once thought 'Oh that guy was being quite a gentleman,' but what if it was a woman instead? I mean just think about what would your reaction be like when you come across something like that. Your reaction may vary subtly, but there always is this difference.

Why do women have to always be on the receiving end? We're not selfish monsters who are incapable of giving. Sometimes I feel that the idea of being a gentleman are just meant to boost men's already inflated ego (okay this is really just a huge claim I'm making haha).

Hope what I said above makes sense haha cuz that's what I really feel about today's society. Or I could just be a feminist in the making :p

BOO-YA!

This is a one week late post about Halloween Horror Night last Sunday with Lynn, Kayla, Tiong Suan, Chin Kai and Zhi Wei. Honestly, I never thought that I would go for such a thing lol considering how I don't even like horror shows. But since it's the first outing with this group of people, anything goes~

It seemed like I got scared the most haha some of them didn't even think the haunted houses were that scary but no I screamed like some girly girl for all haunted houses LOL. I don't usually scream high-pitched, unless I make myself scream like during roller-coaster rides because it's more fun, but nahhh haunted houses are a separate thing hahaha. I'm terrible with horror stuff. Still, it was a fun experience la haha I'm probably less cowardly now. I think. Haha hey you need experience for these kind of things right?!

That day was the latest I have ever reached home. I got back at 1.30am oops. At least it was a public holiday the next day. 

-

The last time.

윤하 (Younha) - 내 마음이 뭐가 돼 (Wasted) MV

I still can't believe two of my favourite artists have collaborated omg <3 The song so distinctly sounds like another Nell song, except with Younha as the vocal this time round. Still, I can just imagine Jong Wan singing it in his own unique style as always. Younha please keep going in this direction and make music of this genre~ But I also miss the days where she sang more rock songs :( I am still waiting for the day when I can actually attend her concert haha

Omg I just realised I typed something wrongly in my previous previous post. I meant to say that chemical engineering =/= chemistry. LOL I must have been half asleep.

Btw, it's already OCT. How have you guys been doing? I've not been meeting anyone for a meal or something ever since school started.. I miss my friends :(

Completed my mid-terms yesterday, with the math paper ending at 9.52pm lol that's the latest paper I have ever taken. It was only 1 hr with 10 mcqs but not enough time at all!!! It was a crazaaay paper. Programming paper was terrible, and by terrible I mean scoring 7/20. Initially I thought I only scored 1/20 lol because the last 5 questions (all mcqs)were linked, so I thought that if you didn't get all of them right, you don't get any marks. But I guess they were being nice by giving us the marks. It was 2m each okay! Otherwise I would have gotten 1/20. 5%. Omg. I'm seriously dying for programming. All the pre-defined functions, looping, vectors and what not. When I saw an entire page of weird words my brain really just turned off. I really had no idea what the codings were meant to do. I really need to start working harder for the remaining semester to at least pass this module and s/u it, or else I would have to retake it next semester T.T

But it's okay, I'm just gonna take this as a reminder for me to buck up. Whether you are at ulu ntu, central smu or smelly army (oops lol), jiayou guys~

I'm feeling the stress again. The inferiority complex is coming back..
I went for consultation with the OUTSTANDING chem engineers (lol that's the WA group chat name) today and they all seemed to be able to do the papers fairly easily and had questions to ask the prof. I really dk what I was doing there cuz I didn't have anything to ask. Or rather, I didn't know what to ask. That's the thing, if you really know what you're doing, you should have questions to ask otherwise you don't really understand. So I was just there trying to catch up with their discussion but failed to.
They all seemed like smart people who can solve the questions in half the time I took to solve it. I was never a smart student. I was at most a hardworking student, at worst a mugger. Since JH times, I was never in the 'smart classes'. Okay I know I shouldn't think this way, that's why I say it's an inferiority complex. It really sucks to feel like you're the only one feeling screwed.
Even for math, I'm struggling just attempting the previous mid-term papers. Like seriously, math is supposed to be the one that is comparatively more manageable. Sem 1 is supposed to be the most manageable sem out of the 4 years. So now what?!
It's come to the extent where I'm actually regretting choosing this course. I should have chosen Chemistry instead even though it may be less practical in a way.

Anyway, just in case some of you are wondering what even made me choose this course then, I'm actually interested in the production of consumer products like soap, cosmetics etc. And chemical engineering =/= engineering haha