I've been wanting some alone time these days. Slowly creeping back into my shell again where the greatest comfort is provided.

I'm quite a different person at home versus when I'm with friends. I mean, my personality in general is the same, it's just the number of words I speak. With close friends, I'm 70% noise and 30% quiet. At home, I'm usually 35% noise and 65% quiet. (This is based on my own scale of course.) It really depends on my mood but most of the times I don't like to talk much. At the dining table I'm usually just there eating my food while my mum and my sis are the ones who usually talk, I'll only contribute my two-cents if I feel there's a need. As to why I'm more quiet at home... it is simply because I can. Because I'm with my family so I don't have to bother too much. With friends though, sometimes you feel obliged to talk even when you don't feel like it.

So just a heads up for those who do not know me well enough yet, I'm usually a very boring person hahaha. Even though nowadays I think I'm becoming more outgoing, this is still my main personality, so every once in a while I'll withdraw back into my shell..

Happy cny

Before I go to bed in preparation for my grandma's 100th day tomorrow, let me blog a little about my M'sia trip during the CNY break. (Also cuz I want to drain out my phone batt before I sleep haha.)

So yep I went to Cameron Highlands last week with my family since we aren't supposed to celebrate cny this year. I wasn't really keen on the trip at first to be honest, I wanted to catch up on my work on one hand, and on the other I was just plain lazy to go for a trip, if that is even possible. I just wanted to remain home or in Singapore. But the trip turned out to be quite good, with the exception of the bad traffic jams.

The hotel we stayed in was really pretty, very country and western styled, with all the nice flowers everywhere. This is one of the rare cases where my dad made a good choice haha. The hotel 'room' had two floors, with one bed each on the first floor and on the attic. My sis and I took the attic cuz my mum said she's lazy to climb up lol. I didn't have anything to complain though, I love the attic. (Maybe I'll upload some photos here tmr if I have the time.)

We basically only spent one full day there since we only arrived at 6.30pm on the first day and left at 7am on the 3rd day (to do some shopping at KL hahaha). It may seem short, but trust me, there really isn't much to do over there. After having breakfast, we went to the bee farm to buy honey and also pluck strawberries yay. Then we went to look at some plants and my sis bought a rose plant back to grow, had lunch, and headed over to the pasar malam. The thing we bought the most at the pasar malam was.....plants and vegetables LOL. We bought 6 cacti (or more?), 6 corns, 1 cabbage, 1 broccoli and one more veg which I can't remember what it is haha. Okay it was my mum who bought the veg la obviously. Because the veg all looked very fresh and were damn cheap that she would regret it if she returned back to sg without buying them, that's what she said XD who goes to M'sia to buy veg back to sg lol.

Oh I really give it up to my dad for being able to drive continuously for so many hours. I wanted to help him drive the straight roads actually, but the cars there were all driving so damn fast like 110km/h wth I don't have the confidence of being able to drive safely at that speed. Lucky my dad's an experienced driver yay. But yea felt very bad towards him plus he was falling sick from the second day. Sigh it's times like this where you realise perhaps your parents are getting a little too old for such things. When can we be capable enough to be the ones taking care of them instead.

Yep so basically that's my short m'sia trip. Oh as for the KL shopping trip, there wasn't much to buy sadly haha. I like such trips where you can just take your time and look around with no schedule or itinerary to stick to.

ONE OK ROCK - Heartache

Yay finally found the full original version of this song <3 I have been waiting for this song ever since watching Rurounin Kenshin last year (it's the ending song for the movie). I love Taka's voice omggggg *v*
 

So they say that time, takes away the pain
But I’m still the same
And they say that I, will find another you
That can’t be true

Why didn’t I realize?
Why did I tell lies?
Yeah I wish that I could do it again
Turnin’ back the time, back when you were mine (all mine)

So this is heartache?
So this is heartache?
I gathered all that I’ve regretted
And they turned into my tears, oh baby

So this is heartache?
So this is heartache?
Your smile on that day,
I remembered how it changed,
I miss you

You were the only thing in my heart, but you left
You were the only one who touched my heart, with things you did

Oh baby, you weren’t there anymore, and nothing was there too.
Yeah I wish that I could do it again
Turnin’ back the time, back when you were mine (all mine)

So this is heartache?
So this is heartache?
I gathered all that I’ve regretted
And they turned into my tears, oh baby

So this is heartache?
So this is heartache?
Your smile on that day,
I remembered how it changed,
I miss you

It’s so hard to forget
It was so hard that we tied a knot in the end,
Yeah, so hard to forget
My weakness strongly pushed me to my limits,
You and all the regret
We got separated as it got untied
It hurts right now, that hurts,
I want to forget you right away.

So this is heartache?
So this is heartache?
I gathered all that I’ve regretted
And they turned into my tears, oh baby

So this is heartache?
So this is heartache?
Your smile on that day,
I remembered how it changed,
I miss you

Sigh I'm feeling weird again... Have yet to even touch this week's cm lecture and not to say the quiz that is due at 8am tmr morning. Damnnnn

I shouldn't even be going m'sia during the cny break la wtheck but my dad really wants to go. Ughhhh shiiiitttttt.

This is gonna be another night of little sleep I guess.

On another happier note, today was the shg orientation for this year. Finally got to see the kids again since the graduation day last year. Oh and I didn't expect Farisa to turn up haha she was spying at us while we were playing games :p That's good I guess. She managed to get into the school she wanted to. I hope she does well in the future and becomes a kind, beautiful girl :) The thing about kids is their ability to easily brighten up your day with their energy and innocence. As a kid I was more of the quiet and shy kind though haha. BUT I'm sure I was very cute too hehe.

It's gonna be the start of a new shg year two weeks later. I do hope I can do better as a tutor to whoever is going to be my kid this year. But I already told Marcus that I don't wish to be allocated a p6 kid because I'm afraid I cannot commit coming down every week and I don't want to affect his/her studies. Saw many new faces today, including zq haha! Okay, for this case it's not exactly a new face but rather an old face XD I'm sure that this will be a good experience for you! And I'm really sorry for missing out your birthday yesterday >< I was really very busy the past few days... And idk why your birthday is saved as 28th Feb in my phone :((((

Since today is 14th Feb, to all the attached people out there happy valentine's day, and to all the rest happy friendship day I love you guys <3 (on a side note, it seems like it's true that only dhs peeps celebrate friendship day on v'day??) Who says v'day is only for couples? Friendship is also a kind of love, provided it is one built on sincerity. So is kinship, of course. Love the people that you love. Do something about it before it's all too late. 

I became a little tanner, AGAIN.

A crazy, dirty, hectic, nerve-wrecking mass-ponning-of-lectures-to-wash-cars week has ended, so it's time for some self-reflection. #studyChEforwhat #justgowashcarsua

Spent the last 3 days with the Cheway team washing a total of over 100 cars + 1 motorbike. It was a successful fundraising event I would say, despite it being very physically demanding. I felt really touched by the members who turned up for the carwash during their allocated timings w/o a single complaint and some of them even stayed longer than they had to :') It was toughest on Zhi Wei who had to reach the car parks by 7am the past three days to set-up the booth because all the stuff were kept in his car. I did turn up at 6.30am on the first day okay... Just that I was late because I went to buy more washing materials on the second day and I overslept slightly today oops! I was supposed to be one of the two main organisers of the carwash together with him, but it ended up as him doing most of the job... Mainly because I'm quite unsure of how a carwash is supposed to be like. Not like he was very familiar with the whole process. Sigh incompetent me. I could have put in a little more effort. Nonetheless, it all turned out quite well. The weather was merciful to us (though not THAT kind thanks to the hot sun) because the heaviest rain over the three days was a mere drizzle. Oh and I have to thank my parents for dropping me off at school early in the morning, buying breakfast (and coffe) for us and bringing home all the pails and everything! Really fortunate to have such supportive parents :)

Oh I just realised that the only lesson I attended in these three days is ES (comm engineering) and Chem lab, both of which are kinda non-ponable haha. Had my ES panel discussion yesterday. Honestly, I would say I wasn't really prepared for it so I was hoping that my turn would only be on next week, but oh guess what, my name was the last to be called for the first group of panelists. SUCH IS MY LIFE. I knew it haha. This always happens. Life goes against my wishes, but it (almost) always turns out to be a blessing in disguise. Not that I performed well, in fact my whole group did below average because most of us were super nervous. Based on the feedback some of my classmates gave, the feedback were mostly quite positive and honestly I felt that it was much better than my mock panel on Tuesday, but things didn't look too good from my tutor's feedback oops. I fully agree with whatever she said though because I know my own problem of not being able to express myself well in words. The good thing is at least I wouldn't have to fret over this during the weekends. There's too many other things to catch up with.

To all those out there worried about my emotional state, don't worry please! I'm still a rather rational person so I can suppress my emotions. I hope haha. And ever since studying for the lsm quiz last week, I started feeling like I'm slowly gaining the momentum to study. Still no exact motivation or goal, but I'm slowly liking what I'm studying more. Or maybe it's also because it stops me from thinking about unnecessary stuff. Oh well, whatever works. I'm just gonna spend more time with the more important people around. People who care about me genuinely and make time for me.

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It has been a month and a half into the year. Within this seemingly short period of time, many things have changed, for the better or good I have no clue. If I knew things would become this way, I would have done things differently. Only if things remained the same as they had been.

Yesterday afternoon I preordered one ok rock's new album 35xxxv and it has already shipped out yeaaaaahhhh! ^^ They're the second artist whose album I have purchased oops haha.

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That's all I ask for.

Look up at the sky tonight
You'll realise it's a starry night
⭐

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Anywayz chester, it's cool how I had been replaying battle born the past few days before you had a post on it haha. I love the album too ;)